When we decide we want to improve our relationship we’ll begin by identifying the area of our relationship that isn’t working well or the issue that seems to cause trouble between us and our partner.
Exploring these areas and issues – what’s going on in our relationship – is the first stage in the helping process.
But if we want things to change we need to move to the next stage of the process – to get a clearer understanding of what’s really going on.
At One Plus One we have over 30 years experience of studying couple and family relationships – finding out from ordinary men and women why relationships matter to them, how their relationships work, why they sometimes go wrong, and how they coped when they did.
In starting to explore aspects of your relationship, you have checked out the issue of money.
Money is the most common area of disagreement in relationships. When a couple first gets together, working out a budget and keeping to it can be a real headache. With the credit crunch and food, fuel and utility bills rising, many couples are finding that money is the hot topic in their relationship.
If you need some help in working out a budget go to the budget planner.
Often it isn’t as simple as agreeing on a budget. The stress of working long hours and worrying about how secure our jobs are can make us anxious. Every time a bill arrives we end up arguing.
While it seems that money is the problem if you dig deeper you will find there are hidden issues in your relationship that get raised through arguments about money.
Through our work at One Plus One we have created – the relationship insights – these will help you to understand more about why the issue of money is concerning you at this time and how you might improve things.
The relationship insights will help you to understand:
- How you can help yourself – what’s involved – the helping process
- How the protective factors make your relationship work and what they are – the sliding scale of happiness
- How relationships develop over time, the stages they go through and how to spot vulnerable times – changes and stages of relationships
- How the hidden issues in our relationship are the key to understanding what’s really going on – hidden issues
- How to find the balance between “me”, “you” and “us”, the secret of the happy compromise – journey to shared goals
- How to anticipate the not-so-good times and keep connected as a couple – the roller coaster of change
- How your feelings thoughts and behavior are linked; by changing the way we think about our partner and our relationship, can change how we feel and how we behave – a circle of thoughts, feelings and behaviors
- How for fathers especially, a lack of satisfaction with their relationship affects their involvement with their children – a vicious cycle