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Journey to shared goals

How to find the balance between "me", "you" and "us", the secret of the happy compromise.

There is always a tension in relationships between wanting to be 'me' and wanting to be part of a couple, 'us'. The secret is finding the compromise that doesn't feel like giving in instead it feels like getting somewhere!

Each person brings to their relationship a set of attitudes and beliefs; their unique perspective on the world based on their past and present experience. To become a couple we have to find ways to accommodate our differences while still holding on to our individual identities. Finding the balance between "me", "you" and "us" is a continuing source of tension in relationships, which isn't easy.

One piece of advice is to look at this as a journey. You might expect your partner to join you in your journey but they might not have the same expectations. This can lead to separate journeys running in parallel.  But there is a way of bringing together different perspectives; it begins with knowing enough about yourself and each other to know what you can and can't accept. A critical element in reaching the point where both partners feel "we can" is for me to know and understand my partner enough to appreciate what they are giving up, and vice versa.

This insight will help you work out how to find your happy compromise and avoid relationship issues.

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