Gentle, intimate, slow vanilla sex has its place in every relationship. It deepens a sense of connection and often makes people fall in love a little bit more. In time, however, couples start wondering about alternatives to add to their sex repertoire.
Rough sex is all about passion, heat, power play, and of course – pleasure. If you’ve never tried rough sex with your partner before, however, you may be clueless about bringing the concept up.
The following guide will teach you how to approach the idea and how to have the best rough sex ever.
How to Talk about Rough Sex
Source: freepik.com
Most of us feel worried and anxious about bringing up new sex stuff. How will a partner take it? Will they be on board with the idea or will they find it weird? What if said activity is a complete turn-off and a big no-no?
You should start having these kinds of conversations when you’ve built trust and a deep sense of appreciation for each other.
Having explored certain aspects of your sexualities together would have given you a bit of information about your partner’s preferences and desires.
So, when you feel that you can trust them and you won’t be judged, you can bring up the topic of rough sex.
Go into the conversation with an open mind. Don’t pressure your partner to try something they’re not ready for. You may get a refusal. You may get some hesitation. If that happens, take some time and revisit the conversation when the moment feels right.
If you get enthusiastic approval, you can move on to conceptualizing the most important aspects of the experience.
Set Boundaries
Source: freepik.com
Good rough sex and all power play scenarios should have well-defined boundaries for the experience to be mutually satisfying.
Before jumping in bed, talk about do’s and don’ts. Make sure both of you understand what activities are deemed acceptable and which ones cross the line.
For some people, rough sex is about a bit of hair-pulling or more vigorous penetration. Others see it as a lot more, considering impact play through the use of crops, whips, and paddles. Don’t assume your partner knows exactly what you mean or want. Outline your preferences and expectations. Make them do the same. This way, you’ll come up with a list of stuff that both of you will get to enjoy.
Get the Right Equipment
Source: freepik.com
Rough sex can involve lots of activities – sensory deprivation, getting a partner restrained, the use of wax for erotic stimulation, impact play sex toys, etc.
The best thing to do is to get specialized products from a reputable supplier like AdultSexToys. Choosing the DIY route may lead to dissatisfying experiences. Furthermore, employing household items to have rough sex will often lead to unpleasant side effects and even injuries.
Restraining systems, BDSM toys, impact play accessories, erotic wax, and many other products have been created with pleasure and safety in mind. Most of these items are fairly affordable, so you have no excuse.
Start Out Slow and Expand Your Routine in Time
Source: freepik.com
The first few times you try rough sex should be slow burners.
Start with the stuff you already enjoy in the bedroom. A little bit of hair-pulling and spanking will give you the heat and the passion you’re craving. In time, you can add a new element or two to the routine. See how both of you will feel about these new practices. If the rough sex is as enjoyable as you expected it to be, you can continue experimenting.
Go slow, enjoy the moment, take your time. You can get creative and enjoy so much variety with the introduction of one new accessory or routine. Build anticipation, tease, and slowly turn up the heat.
Make Sure You Have the Skills
Source: freepik.com
Some rough sex elements are very easy to incorporate into your routine safely. A bit of biting, light bondage, dirty talk, and sensory deprivation (through the use of a blindfold or a mouth gag, for example) don’t require a whole lot of skill to be performed correctly.
Other rough sex practices, however, are safe only when performed by people who know what they’re doing.
Using a rope to tie your partner, for example, may seem like a simple activity but it really isn’t. If you don’t do it correctly, you can cut off circulation or cause chaffing/unpleasant wounding.
So, if you are considering the introduction of such sex routines, study up first. Make sure you are familiar with the correct way to do things and the safety protocols to follow. Start with beginner-friendly elements and choose more complex facets of the technique as you grow more confident.
One final thing that needs to be emphasized is getting consent and checking in with a partner throughout the experience. People are often curious about sex stuff but they change their mind if the sensations don’t live up to expectations. Always make sure your partner is on board and enjoying themselves. If that’s not the case, you should definitely discontinue whatever you’re doing at that very moment.
