Being a virgin can feel quite isolating when you’re the only one in your social group.
When hearing your friends gossip about their latest sexual experiences, it’s easy to feel you’re missing out on something, to feel like you’re the odd one out. As a result, you may put pressure on yourself to have sex with someone before you’re really ready.
If you’re already in a relationship, you can feel pressured by your partner to have sex. If they have had sex with a previous partner you may feel you’re obliged to have sex because they will expect it. Your partner may be a virgin and ready to lose their virginity – but you might not feel as ready as they do.
You’re not alone.
Many couples take their time having sex and losing their virginity.
There are different reasons for remaining a virgin. For some, it’s against their religious beliefs to have sex before marriage. Others may be afraid of having sex because they worry about it hurting. And others just might not feel ready.
On theCoupleConnection Forum, this topic comes up regularly:
“I’m 20 and still a virgin. My boyfriend is very keen to get things started in the bedroom but I’m so nervous!” says one user.
“I’m 17 and he’s 18. We’ve been together for almost a year and were best friends before this. He’s not a virgin, but I am. He wants to have sex with me, but he respects my decision to wait and hasn’t pressured me at all. I would really like to have sex with him, but I want to wait until marriage,” says another.
The important thing to remember about your virginity is that once it’s gone, you can’t get it back.
So be sure and don’t do it unless you’re ready to do it.
According to NHS choices, people who have sex for the first time due to pressure are more likely to forget about contraception and condoms, putting them at risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection.
So take your time. Sex is a wonderful thing when both people really like each other and feel ready.
For more help and advice visit our Sex, Intimacy and Romance section.
When the time comes and you want to lose your virginity, make sure to talk to your partner about safe sex. This article will help you talk about the subject.