When our sex lives are going well it’s great, but sometimes things go off the boil. Busy lives, sleepless nights, stress and anxieties can all contribute to a decline in our sex lives. We all have different levels of libido and expect different things from sex. These factors can all mean that problems arise, problems that can be painful and difficult to talk about. You can read below about other couple’s experiences, both good and bad, of sex and their relationships.
Nick, London
“It’s almost like a graph between quantity and quality – the quantity probably goes down, but I think you get to find out about what each other likes.”
Julie, Wolverhampton
“I think it’s purely because my attitude towards sex has relaxed. I am more open about things, and when we first got married, I would find it difficult to tell him I didn’t like it…he’s taught me to be more open about it.”
Kerry, Hertford
“I think a man puts more emphasis on sex in marriage. It’s nice, but it’s not as important as a lot of people think it ought to be in my opinion. He probably thinks the same as me, but I think he’s got obviously more sex drive than me.”
Gill, London
“The first couple of years of marriage, I couldn’t talk to my husband because he used to get so hurt… his male ego — I couldn’t suggest anything.”
Sasha, Colchester
“When we slept we used to spoon, and we carried on doing that until after my first daughter was born. Some men go off women when they have a baby but everything was fine. But then things changed. At first, he said it was because I have got a denture on my top teeth. But that’s not it. I think he just sees me as this wife and mother person like I’m no longer sexual I suppose. But I’m not only a mum and I miss the intimacy we used to share.”
Oliver, Coventry
“I think sex is an important part of a relationship, it makes me feel really close to my wife. Sometimes it is difficult to say stuff or we have had a row, but when we have sex we are more relaxed and able to talk about things more easily – although sometimes I fall asleep!!!”
Img Source :stocksy.com
Corrine, South Wales
“He went one side of the bed, I went the other side. It was very, very sad indeed. It was awful. On the sexual side of things, everything changed. We used to have a good sex life, but then things just became very mechanistic. I would make a joke of it but I went through all the emotions – you name it. It was just cold and even though we were in bed together I felt really lonely without him.”
Vicki, Kent
“Out relationship changed after having our first child. My husband went off me rather a lot. He was there at the birth, then he didn’t come near me for months. It may have been to do with my weight.”
Jaime, Leicester
“One of the problems was that we stopped being physical at all. In fact, for two years before Daniel came along we hadn’t actually slept together. He came along very quickly in the first week of us being physical again together. Other than that, there had only been very odd nights when we slept together. When we first got together it was all very passionate but it has really waned, and recently completely stopped. I’m not fifty!! I want some more sex!”
Jake, Bedford
“Our sex life was amazing when we got together – we had this amazing connection. Now we don’t have sex as often – we are so busy and the kids keep us awake a lot, but when we do the connection is even stronger. We have shared so much and sex helps us be intimate and keep the spark going.”
Sex after a baby
Img Source: terryphotoco.com
Lacy, Hertford
“In the early weeks, I was so very tired when I was breastfeeding… every three hours… sometimes I felt angry when the baby woke me up at night… I used to take it out on my partner.”
Lorraine, Reading
“Well, there’s this sexual thing at the moment… we don’t exactly have rows but I just don’t feel in charge of my body anymore, it belongs to everybody else. They all want to use it in their own ways… I just want to go to bed and sleep because I don’t know when I’m going to have to get up, or how many times.”
Becky, North Wales
“The change in our sex life has been dramatic… I’m just not interested anymore. I’m tired, I want space, it’s the last thing on my mind. I’m worried there’s a danger of it becoming a pattern. I think he’s finding it quite hard but we’ve talked about it, sometimes argued, but it seems alright.”
