Most couples agree that household chores should be shared between partners, but many fail to find a split that works. Why not give these tips a try and see if you can put an end to all those housework headaches?
Make sure arguments about housework are actually about housework. If they stem from underlying issues of respect or caring for each other then it’s important to address these issues directly. Making mountains out of molehills when it comes to housework issues won’t resolve the problem.
Set expectations. When you share a house you need a shared idea of clean and tidy. You might find yourselves in a clash between clutter and minimalism and, since there’s no right or wrong answer, you’ll need to reach a compromise together.
Set priorities. Let each other know what you think the most important jobs around the house are. You may have strict standards for the bathroom but can cope with a dusty spare room. If you set housework priorities it will be easier to maintain a household you’re both happy living in.
Don’t tell your partner how a task should be done. If you agree to split chores, try not to interfere with how your partner is doing their share. If your partner becomes controlling or annoyed by your contributions then sit down and reassess which areas they are happy for you to do. Explain that you feel unappreciated when they criticize your effort.
Recognize that parenting is a full-time position too. If your partner stays at home to look after the kids while you go out to work, don’t expect them to get all the chores done while you’re out of the house. By the time a working parent has returned home the stay-at-home parent has already put in a full day’s work too. Appreciate this and take on your fair share of tasks in the evening.
Show appreciation. Positive comments have more effect on us than negative ones do. If your partner does a job a day later than normal try not to complain that it was done late. Instead, let them know how much you appreciate them finding the time to fit it in.
Give each other a hand. If your partner has had a bad day at work or is feeling unwell why not do some of their jobs for them? This shouldn’t become a regular thing, you don’t want to create an expectation that you’ll always do their side of the chores, but if you help your partner occasionally they’re more likely to help you out too.
Don’t nag. It’s unlikely to inspire your partner to get the job done. Instead, let them know how much you appreciate it when they do that particular chore.