It’s very common for couples not to have sex for some time after having a baby. Often you’re just too tired to be interested in sex and mums may still have physical problems following the delivery. If a birth has been hard, either of you may find it hard to begin again.
You may be at different places, one of you waiting patiently till the other is ready. You might be feeling frustrated and anxious, but not really sure how to talk about how you’re feeling.
It’s really important for couples to understand the importance of physical closeness for their relationship. Even if it’s just a cuddle or a massage! Being physical is an important part of caring for your relationship.
The baby can also interrupt the rare chances you have. Some couples find that they just give up even trying to have sex after a baby – but the danger is they find not having sex becomes normal and both accept this is the way it is now. It can help if you can use chance moments to be spontaneous – this way you’re far more likely to re-start your sexual relationship.
Think about your physical relationship with your partner:
- Do you have an understanding of where your partner is currently at emotionally and physically when it comes to sex?
- Are there ways other than intercourse that you can satisfy each other’s physical need for intimacy?
- How can you make more opportunities for sex?