I am 22, I have just decided to take time out of a 4-year lesbian relationship. I am confused as to whether I am happy as I have had mixed feelings for a while.
Neither of us had ever been with another girl when we got together, we had boyfriends but nothing serious. We just felt a connection when we met and after 6 months of secrecy, decided to make it official and tell everyone. People were shocked as I am so girly which made me question things years later.
I keep trying to tell myself that I’m in love with a person, not the sex as I don’t believe in labeling people. The bit I do think I’m still coming to terms with being in a gay relationship as I have been brought up to think that you will meet a man, get married, etc. I am attracted to men too but again, I try to tell myself that the gender is irrelevant as long as you feel something for the person.
Also, we do not have any gay friends and live in a small town so I have nobody to relate to. My partner is very laid back and seems to cope well but I’m very emotional and care what ppl think. I just don’t know if its the relationship that fizzled out or being in a gay relationship that is the problem?
I’m just so confused and scared. We have decided that I need a time out to think, I need this time to figure out if I’m truly happy. My partner is the most loving caring positive understanding (etc) person you could ever meet which makes it a hard decision. I don’t want to hurt her., but I need to know if I do go back – it’s for the right reasons. Also, our sex life has slowed down and I don’t find her as sexually attractive as I used too. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.