You remember the time when you could hardly wait to have dinner with your partner and friends, you spent hours looking stunning for going to the theater or wine tasting. When you think about how you and your partner are too busy with work, but above all, you manage to find time for joint activities. The thought that maybe that’s why you’re ideal for each other. If you are already a parent, we are sure that you will remember these times with sadness and laugh at your statement at the time that you are too busy. With children, things are completely changing, whether you like it or not. Many future parents make plans on how not to slow down their social and community life, but saying it is one thing and the practice is the hardest part of your plan.
Research shows that parents who have children aged 5 and younger are most distant from each other precisely because of family obligations. Instead of having dinner at your favorite restaurant, or watching a movie, you can now hardly wait for the disturbing occasion called dinner to end so that the child can go to bed, and you have time to throw yourself into other jobs that are waiting for you. Or just you to fall asleep and take some rest. Alarms called “babies” know to “ring” very early.
And so in the race for diapers, kindergarten, changing clothes, feeding, paying bills, you lose each other and realize that more than a year has passed without you exchanging emotions, tenderness and quality stories with your partner. It is not easy to stand in the way of this and get organized, but with a little will, anything is possible. That’s why we’ve come up with a couple of tips for you. How do you have a couple of times when you have kids? Let’s find out together.
1. Organize the time when children go to sleep
Whoever is the parent will know how precious this time is. When you finally put your children to sleep after a hard day, most parents have obligations to follow. There is cleaning the bathroom, washing dishes, finishing business on a laptop and stuff like that. If you are a super parent and you have succeeded to do all this during the day, then this is your few hours to relax with a favorite series, a game, or surfing the internet. Since this is the time when both partners are usually at home, let this be you for at least half an hour time with a partner.
No, we are not saying that you should ignore everything and spend the whole night dedicated to romance and conversation.
This is even impossible for most parents. We suggest you set aside at least half an hour, but let it be every night. Half an hour will not burden you for the first time and take you away from the planned obligations, and on the other hand, you can get a lot. If you are sure, set the alarm on your mobile phone to ring after half an hour. But in the meantime, turn off your laptop, TV, radio, leave your mobile phone aside and talk to your partner. The conversation can start with a story about how you spent the day, all the way to a constructive conversation about solving a certain problem. The topic is not important as how much time you dedicate to each other.
2. If there is a chance, make sure you take the same day off
If you are both employed, set a day of the month of the year, depending on your job opportunities, when you and your partner can take a day off. Determine the calendar days for the whole year and plan them in detail. Only you two, as before, create your adventures. We suggested a free working day and not a weekend for several reasons. On weekdays, children are a good part of the day at school or kindergarten, so you will not need a nanny at all or you will need a much shorter time than on weekends. Every weekend the cost of babysitting by the hour is rising dramatically.
No, leave the weekend for the little chaos you are used to, and let this day be special, carefree. This is the day you will look forward to that will give you energy until the next day off. In addition to grandmothers, grandfathers and nannies, there are also extended stays and specialized institutions for babysitting. One of them is Wee Watch so check out why they are special. Have a picnic, visit the winery, ride horses, do all those joint activities that will awaken in you an adventure and calm spirit again.
3. Learn to turn simple moments into special ones
Okay, you may miss going out to a restaurant, theater, but these are not the only activities for you to hang out with your partner. Try not to wait too long, but give a chance to do simple everyday things. Once you succeed in that, no day will be the same again. Here’s an example: the kids are asleep and the job that is waiting for you is to scrub the bathroom and kitchen. Instead of splitting up and solving these tasks on your own, solve them one by one but together with your partner.
Try to see the charms in the joint arrangement of the bathroom. You are together and while working on a task you have all the time to talk of any kind. Sounds crazy? Try to give these things a chance. Instead of watching the game while your wife washes and cleans the dishes, turn off the TV and get a rag in your hands. Share the burden, be on the same level and start a conversation. No matter how tired you are, we are sure that this half-hour will mean a lot to you and your partner. There is also shopping, mowing the lawn, washing cars, etc. These are simple things that can be turned into interesting joint activities. Of course, the children will also enjoy your work together.
4. Time with a partner is not a privilege, it is a normal thing
Although you must do your best to create an opportunity to spend quality time with your partner, do not think that a miracle is happening and that you have made a great sacrifice because of it. You just got better organized, nothing else.
Time spent with a partner is not a privilege but a normal thing. Even if it doesn’t happen too often, try to make a tradition of it. In addition to Valentine’s Day and other family holidays, celebrate some of your special days. All that matters is to find a reason and get interesting coverage. The less often you and your partner look at it this way, the more important it is for the reason for celebrating a birthday to be greater. This will be understood by the family and who knows; maybe they will meet you with babysitting and give you a three-day trip with a partner.