Arguing or worried about money?
How we feel about money is crucial to how we talk about it, spend it and why it causes so many arguments between couples. Money and relationship issues are inextricably linked and research shows that its money arguments that are often the hardest to manage. In these tough times how to manage money better is high on most people’s worry list. So this month on thecoupleconnection.net we have teamed up with Financial Coach and author Simonne Gnessen to bring you some helpful insights and tips.
Money and relationships
Whether we like it or not, money’s an important part of life. But it has a way of arousing strong emotions in us. Some of us love spending to cheer ourselves up, while others constantly worry about not having enough. Like many decisions we take in life, financial ones aren’t always rooted in rational common sense. We each develop different lessons and experiences with money that shape our behavior and the way we think and feel about issues like debt, spending, savings and long-term goals. Couples often differ in their approach to money and then attack each other for their differences.
The success of a marriage or partnership depends on being able to communicate about money. During your time together you’re likely to make numerous decisions that involve money. So it’s important that you can discuss it openly and without argument. One way to avoid judging each other’s differences is to understand each other’s money mindsets. You can then start to make connections between your money mindsets and any current relationship issues.
So, here are some questions to get you started:
• What are your ‘money memories’ as a child? Try to share one story.
• What money messages did you learn from your parents or guardians? Does one ‘saying’ come to mind?
• What does money mean to you now?
• How do you feel about getting into debt?
• What’s your definition of being wealthy?
• What would you do with a big windfall?
• What do you think of people who make a lot of money?
• What would it take for you to feel financially secure?
When you understand each other’s different money mindsets you’re less likely to allow current challenges to put a strain on your relationship. Compromises can be reached but only when you know where each other are coming from.