When you get married, many couples expect to be in the honeymoon phase until their last breaths. But the truth is marriage is full of ups and downs so you may experience relationship problems along the way. There are ways that you can fix those problems like going for marriage counselling Melbourne couples trust to give them a new perspective.
But how do you know it’s the right time to see a counsellor? To assist you, we’ve provided 7 signs that your marriage could benefit from some assistance. Seeking professional help can give you the guidance you need to restore your relationship.
1. You’re Experiencing Communication Problems
One of the first signs that your marriage is struggling is a lack of communication. Or, when you do communicate it leads to conflict or misunderstanding. You may avoid talking to each other because there’s often a negative reaction to what’s being said.
For example, if you suffer from depression you may try to open up to your partner, but they brush it off and tell you to get over it. You will then feel less inclined to be honest about your emotional state than before. So, how your partner responds to your openness can create a lack of communication.
Counselling helps couples recognise their communication styles and avoid impasses that can lead to problems. It can also teach you active listening skills so you can fully understand and empathise with one another.
2. You or Your Partner Have Suffered a Traumatic Event
If you or your partner has suffered a traumatic event like a robbery, a miscarriage, or witnessing a death, it can cause temporary emotional separation in a marriage. You may not know how to deal with the trauma or the emotions of your partner, which can lead to avoidance.
A marriage counsellor can create a safe space to express your thoughts, concerns, and feelings after experiencing trauma. Your counsellor can guide your conversation ensuring that you both have equal opportunities to speak freely. After your sessions, you’ll have more understanding of how to deal with your own emotions as well as your partner’s feelings.
3. There’s a Lack of Trust
Did you or your partner do something that broke the trust between you? Perhaps you lie about where you’re going in your ‘me-time’, or you’ve found inappropriate text messages on your spouse’s phone?
When you do something to cause mistrust in your relationship it can be difficult to get that honesty and loyalty back. A counsellor can identify the cause of these situations, such as past experiences or communication patterns. The counsellor will then find strategies to help rebuild trust in the relationship.
4. Repeated Conflicts that are Never Resolved
It’s not uncommon to have repeated arguments with your spouse over issues that never seem to be resolved. For example, you may argue often about not getting enough help around the house and taking care of the children. But, your partner could be exhausted from working long hours or may be suffering from depression. Whose opinion is correct in this scenario?
It can become easy to simply blame your partner when issues aren’t resolved, which doesn’t solve the problem. Speaking to a counsellor can help you establish accountability, build behaviours that foster a sense of reliability and the courage to take up responsibility to work towards resolving conflicts.
5. Lack of Emotional and Physical Intimacy
If you’ve been married for many years, you may begin to experience a lack of emotional and physical intimacy. You’ll notice that there’s not as much affection in the relationship as there once was. This could be due to several reasons such as:
- Stress from work
- Feeling resentful toward your partner for a past mistake
- Substance abuse
- Lack of responsibility
- Not being reliable, especially when you need them the most
Couples who are happy in a relationship tend to be warmer toward each other. But the above-mentioned scenarios create an unhappy environment which leads to bitterness and anger.
Seeing a trustworthy counsellor can help you remember the reason you got married in the first place and work through emotional barriers that stop you from being intimate.
6. You Avoid Each Other
When you often argue or feel obligated to do activities you don’t enjoy doing, you may start to avoid each other. If you’re going to bed at different times or attending events without each other then it’s a sign you need to speak to a counsellor. You’ll then begin to understand why you’re avoiding each other and take steps to fix the problem in a healthy way.
7. Problems with the In-Laws
Are your in-laws involving themselves in your marriage? Perhaps your sister-in-law is trying to control how you raise your children or your mother-in-law keeps showing up unannounced. Lack of boundaries in a family can cause conflict in your marriage.
A counsellor can help you communicate your concerns and help you establish healthy boundaries without causing more conflict.
If you’ve experienced one or more of the signs we’ve mentioned, it may be time that you speak to a marriage counsellor. With the right guidance, you can build a stronger and happier marriage and foster a deeper physical and emotional connection with each other. Yes, it’s possible to experience some of the magic you once had!