I have been feeling lost and insecure recently and last week I contacted a man was advertising for no-strings sex on the internet. We exchanged a few emails, I genuinely didn’t intend to take it any further but was craving excitement and wanted to feel desired. My husband found out, and when he confronted me so some reason I lied and lied and lied – I couldn’t bear to tell him the truth even though I knew that he knew. I just couldn’t face the idea that what I had done would be part of our reality, I wanted it to go away.
Understandably my husband was devastated, not so much about emailing the stranger, more about the fact that I lied to his face. I realize how stupid and wrong I was but he feels that I have broken his trust and our relationship completely and is seriously talking about divorce.
I love him so much and literally can’t bear the thought of a life without him. We were a great couple before, but I had felt trapped by the expectations of my friends, family and my husband to an extent.
I need to find a way to convince him to give me a 2nd chance, obviously this tough if not impossible as his trust in me is non-existent at the moment and I have completely discredited myself by refusing to tell the truth even when he confronted me. He also finds it hard to believe that I didn’t intend to be physically unfaithful when I sent those emails.