Becoming a mother is one of life’s big events. The transition to motherhood is not easy and nothing can fully prepare you for the changes that will happen not only to your body but also to your sense of being and your relationship.
Here, four mothers discuss some of the changes that happened to their relationship once they became mothers.
‘Being intimate with each other is difficult as our son wakes up at the slightest sound, however, that’s not really caused any issues between us. When you have a baby you learn to show affection for your partner in different ways. I do things like cooking him a meal I know he really likes,’ Rebecca (38)
Read Sex after having a baby for more advice.
‘Sharing out household chores like doing the washing up has always been a cause of arguments between us. If I ask him to do things, my partner usually will but I don’t want to nag and it annoys me when things don’t get done. I feel like I have moved on and matured as I have become a mother but he still acts the way he always has done. On his days off he’ll happily stay in bed till mid-morning even though I’ve been up very early with the kids. By the time he’s up and dressed it’s too late to go anywhere and do anything as a family,’ Lara (27)
Read Tips for managing household chores for more advice.
Keeping your relationship strong
‘The little gestures to each other will strengthen a relationship. For example, if you see your partner is looking tired, it might be as simple as offering to cook tea. Before we had kids I worked full time and we shared all the household duties like making dinner, so I did have to get used to having a new role and dynamic between us. But ultimately it doesn’t really matter who’s had the hardest day or who’s most tired. Both partners need to work together to help each other out and be there to support each other,’ Emma (29)
Watch our relationship insight to find out how the ups and downs of relationships affect us.
Seeking relationship support
‘Having children was definitely the changing point. I feel l poured so much into being the best mother I could to the detriment of my relationship. There are so much information and advice about how to be a parent but nothing to tell you or help you maintain your relationship at the same time,’ Suzanna (36)
If you need additional support, post on our free relationship advice forum or join the Listening Room to speak to a helper.