Most mums and dads want what’s best for their children whether they are together or apart. Very few set out to deliberately put their children in the middle when they separate, of course, you don’t want to hurt them or put them under unnecessary stress. But as the emotional and practical realities of parenting after parting set in all too often it’s the children who get caught in the middle.
You may think your children aren’t being affected, or aren’t struggling with being loyal to both of you, are happy to carry messages back and forth between you and your ex-partner but this is rarely the case.
Research shows when couples part there are inevitable disagreements and difficulties and children often become caught in the middle of parents’ arguments and this can be damaging ….whatever their age.
You’re both hurt and angry and learning new ways of communicating with each other can be difficult especially in the early days. So sometimes you’re just too caught up with your own feelings to see what’s going on for your children. It’s not intentional but it happens.
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‘Getting It Right for Children when Parent Part’ is a new online program, specifically designed by One Plus One, to tackle the potential problems children can face when their parents separate. The programme uses Behaviour ModellingTraining techniques, which have proved very effective in helping people to break patterns of behavior and do things differently.
The program is easy to use and is based on watching common scenarios. Each scenario helps you to understand the ways in which parents often without realizing it involve their children in their difficulties with each other, and how children can be affected.
After watching an alternative outcome, you can watch the characters reflect on what happened in each case and how they felt about it.
You’ll then identify the skills you have seen and be asked to think about how you would practice using these skills in your own personal situation with your ex-partner.
To help you focus what you’ve learned on your own situation you’ll then set your own personal goals; specific things you want to change – that will help you communicate better with your ex-partner and avoid putting your children in the middle.
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There’s also a programming forum where users can share experiences and tips with one another.
The program is easy to use and will give you lots of practical tips and techniques, ‘Getting it Right for Children When Parents Part’ is available free for any user – Signing up is easy, and you can work through the course at your own pace depending on the time you have – complete one family scenario at a time or all five in one session.
Just visit theparentconnection.org.uk click on the Programmes tab and give it a try …..Whether you think you need it or not it should really help you, your ex-partner and your children make changes for the better.
