Tips: Overcoming jealousy
Jealousy is a normal emotion experienced by many people in relationships, but it’s important not to let it get out of control. Our top tips will help you manage jealousy and work towards a healthier, happier relationship.
Improve your self-esteem independently of your partner. Try to spend time doing something you enjoy and that makes you feel good about yourself. It could be anything from a pottery class to exercising.
Recognise your good points. Make a list of all your qualities and achievements that will remind you why your partner loves you when you have moments of insecurity. If you’re struggling to do this for yourself you could ask your partner to contribute points too.
Consider other people. You may be able to rationalise jealous outbursts in your own head, but try considering what those outside the situation might think. Taking their reactions into account before you react can help you stay calm and in control.
Take responsibility for your jealousy. If your jealousy comes from your own insecurities rather than your partner’s actions try to recognise and accept this, it could help you overcome the negative emotions.
Change your attitude. Recognise that healthy couples have separate interests. Try not to get jealous if your partner decides to spend an evening with friends rather than you, make your own plans and look forward to even more to talk about when you’re back together.
Create balance. If your social life revolves around your partner it’s inevitable you’ll feel jealous when they want to do their own thing. By developing your own interests, re-igniting friendships, and carving out some independence you can take some pressure off your relationship.
Learn from past behaviour. If jealousy has caused issues in your previous relationships try to recognise this and use past experience to help you make positive changes in your current relationship. Nobody wants to make the same mistakes twice.
Share your feelings. Try to make your partner an ally not an enemy in battling your jealous feelings. Be open when you’re feeling jealous and ask for your partner’s support. Explain that you know the feelings may not be rational, but that a little reassurance from them can help you let go and move on.
Click here for tips on helping your partner deal with jealousy.
Comments
i'm an insecure guy who has been with a girl for 2 months, it started casual but has developed quickly into a serious relationship with talk of long term plans etc... i looked through her phone the other night and noticed some messages from 2 flings she had earlier on in the year before we started dating and some of them were pretty graphic, and i'll admit we've exchanged some pretty saucy messages too, but seeing messages from other guys stating what they'd like to do to MY girlfriend really hurt and bought out some jealousy and insecurity, i also feel bad for snooping and wish i hadn't, this is still fresh in my mind as it's only been a couple of days since i read the messages, and i know she was entitled to do whatever and sleep with whoever she wanted in the past, i was sleeping with an ex at the start of the year, but i just want some good advice and support please!! cheers!!!