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I've just discovered my partner looks at porn on the internet. I'm hurt as he promised he never would. Should I consider it cheating?

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porn
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Answers:

  • flag

    its not cheating and tell him not to promise you if he cant keep it and explain how it makes you feel.

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  • flag

    Guys look at porn. It's an unfortunate fact of life. Being allowed to fantasize also takes a degree of pressure off of the partner.

    With that said, there are some problems. First, he broke a promise. It was a promise he shouldn't have made, but he still should have talked to you before you found out yourself.

    What concerned me more than that is that he promised in the first place. He probably knew he wasn't going to keep it. It makes me wonder if he'll just tell you anything you want to hear.

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    Comments

    • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

      Ive found explicit pictures on my boyfriends phone a couple of times and I've just told him to delete them becuse I don't want to see that type of thing. I told him I don't care what he does in his spare time, but it's hurtful to see them still on his phone because I look nothing like these women and it dents my confidence! He explained it's just a guy thing and I believe him. I don't think it's anything to do with you, it's just something they enjoy..I agree with you though it's not nice to see and at first does kind of feel like you have been betrayed!

      Mon 2, Feb 2015 at 3:12pm
  • flag

    I am going through exactly the same with my partner. I first found out when i was nearly heavily pregnant with our daughter. he used to watch it before he went to work for 7am most mornings. i found the dvd he watched.another time i found his dirty tissue what he left under the coffee table! and then found out months later (after trying to regain my trust in him by never doing it again) that he watches it on the internet. I am always looking at his history on the computer to see what he has been looking at. sometimes he looks at sexy girls pics on facebook. I just dont know how to block feeling so betrayed by him, we are never close in the bedroom because of my mental issues with this

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  • flag

    its not cheating and tell him not to promise you if he cant keep it and explain how it makes you feel.

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  • flag

    It's horrible to discover but I wouldn't call it cheating. Tell him how it makes you feel and ask him why he feels the need to do it. He may be able to reassure you.

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    Comments

    • User-anonymous hlin334 Flag

      its not cheating and tell him not to promise you if he cant keep it and explain how it makes you feel.

      Thu 8, Dec 2011 at 10:03pm
  • flag

    A promise is a promise …isn’t it?

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  • flag

    No, but you definitely need to speak to him and tell him how you feel about this and the impact it will have on your relationship with him.

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