Cookies on The Couple Connection: The couple connection uses cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use the couple connection, we will assume that you are happy to receive all cookies from this site.

Unsure what to believe

Posted by: Anonymous
Sun 12, Mar 2017 at 2:46pm
Affairs and Jealousy, Communications in relationships, Sex and Affairs

In January I was introduced to a very interesting man. When we initially met we didn't exchange phone numbers but did have a very lengthy conversation. It turns out we had many mutual friends and he dated the sister of one of my best friends (nearly 10 years ago). When I told my best friend that I had been introduced to him she told me that he was married but separated and divorcing and that she believes we'd actually make a very good match. We ran into each other again when I was out with my friends one night and ended up having an amazing night just being around everyone (not drinking) and being silly until about 3am. Considering the weather I drove him home that night ( we both live in a small walkwable town) and we exchanged phone numbers. The next day I received a text message from him saying that he had been arrested and that he wants to be honest. He is married but separated. Apparently he went upstairs to his apt (his father lives downstairs) and she was upset with him, he revealed all he knew about her cheating, she became enraged and called the police and he was arrested but later released. She dropped the case later in court. Normally this is something that would make me run for the hills but never the less I stayed. Having known people who know him, her, them, I felt his story was truthful as many people have told me that she is mentally unstable. We continued to date and began to develop strong feelings for one another. He has stayed w me multiple weekends and weeknight including Valentine's Day during which she has ever called looking for him. Her lack of interest in where her "husband" spends his weekends only validated that they are separated. He has shown me the texts and they don't seem out of the ordinary for a divorcing couple except a few threats on her part here or there about the dogs court etc. long story short, he has court on March 13th and he wanted to tell her about me as she has been questioning him lately but I advised and thought it best not to do this until after. In fact we've been out almost every night without ever seeing her or dealing w her.

Last night was different. On Friday I surprised him and planned a scavenger hunt around NYC that ended in us staying in a hotel there. We returned to Jc about 4;00 the next afternoon. When he went home (to his fathers) she had asked him where he had been and where he was going etc. He replied that it was none of her business and that he was going out with friends. When he met up w me last night and told me this I became very upset and felt a drop in my stomach for some reason. So we are standing outside and I'm explaining that maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore until he's finally divorced etc and she walks by. She begins to yell curse and call me names. I simply walked away and so did he. As I was trying to walk away she reached out to grab me which was the point I called the police. I told them she tried to grab me and she keeps following me. She said that if I called the police she owas kid to and she told the police that her husband is walking with a woman. As we waited for the police she continued to scream about me calling me a "rich girl from a rich family" and a "prostitue" and that I drive a "fancy car" she's going to "f*** him in court now because of me". The police come and tell me and the guy to stand w one officer and she must stand w the other. I kept my composure as she pushed past the police officer to yell at me and told me that they went shopping the day before and he bought the tie he was wearing with her (he did but a new tie) and that they are intimate every day. Finally the police let us leave and keep her for her irrational behavior. I should mention that our sex life is almost non existent as he has trouble "finishing"

I don't know what to believe.

He did buy that tie this week. Was she really there or just knows his routines?

He does go home to his "father" and sometimes falls asleep but I also fall asleep sometimes when I'm home. Is her knowledge of this a way she thinks she can tell me they still sleep together.

His father text him that she needs help and that she brings men to their apartment when he is not there.

She claimed I was a rich girl who drove a fancy car and that he told her this. I did drIve a jaguar last year but totaled it and now drive a Jeep. He never knew that about me and he doesn't know about my family's money and foots the bill for me and my friend whenever we are out. Someone else who knows me but doesn't know I switched cars could have told her this.

He seems to have been truthful of everything so far.

He stated in front of the cops that they have been separated she continues to harass him and that I was his girlfriend and he is waiting until the court case to file for divorce. The police seemed to be extremely understanding of he and I and seemed to have noticed her irrational behavior.

I'd just like some feedback. I know I should have walked away I was trying to at the exact moment she saw us. It is my fault and I'm not complaining. Just trying to clear my head about it all.

  This was of help to 0% of people  


  • User-anonymous Meridian Flag

    Well, I believe you handled the situation very well considering the situation and it was not your fault. I believe that if you want to have a clear head on everything you should talk to him and maybe considering seeing each other again when things are finalized and more stable. Perhaps this way you can be more on everything and won't have to worry. Best of luck to you.

    Sat 18, Mar 2017 at 10:29pm
  • User-anonymous Jazz375 Flag

    Like the previous responder, I think you handled it well considering the circumstances. Your suggestion to him that you should cool it until he is single has merit, and might be the best way forward. Their domestic situation suggests that disentangling himself might take some time though.

    Tue 21, Mar 2017 at 4:54pm