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Feeling confused and unhappy

Posted by: WendyBee
Thu 17, Aug 2017 at 6:17am
Sex/Intimacy and romance, Affairs and Jealousy, Mixed Families, Sex and Affairs

I have been married to my husband for about 18 months and been with him for 3 years and a half in total.
Don't get me wrong, he is not a bad man but lately I have been struggling with our relationship.

My husband is 22 years older than me and when we started I was only 19. At the time i thought I was grown up then and could make my life decisions. I had been friends with him for four years prior and I thought I knew him very well. When my parents found out about our secret relationship, they disapproved and kicked me out of home when I still insisted on being with him.

My husband was also still legally married at the time, but had been separated from his wife for a number of years. Of course with my parents strongly disapproving, it drew me closer to him. I moved in with him less than a year after we started.

He got a divorce a few months after I had moved in and all seemed well. I struggled sometimes with what role i was to be with his teenage son.

When the divorce was finalised and they had sold their old home,he asked for my help with choosing an engagement ring.
It was after we had purchased this that I found out he had slept with his ex in the early days of our relationship. It hurt me so much and I wanted to leave. But I felt like I had to stay. So when he proposed, I said yes.

We married 6 months later. I tried to be excited about it but honestly couldn't bring myself to be excited and fully involved with the wedding plans. My parents had come around to some degree, because they missed their daughter.

Anyway fast forward to this year, I started a dog walking business.
Sometimes i would dogsit and one of my clients asked me to watch his dog one night while he was away. My husband stayed with me and when he saw the place, he commented how I must wish I could have ended up with him. He was good looking and had a lifestyle in the country side with animals and land. A lifestyle I had always wanted. And a lifestyle my husband had never been interested in. My husband even said it wouldnt surprise him if I had an affair with him.

To be honest I had never seen that client in that way, but when my husband said that it made me think differently.

I hate to say it, but a few months later the relationship with this client has gotten physical and I haven't told my husband.

It is very confusing what to do. Sometimes i think i was too young getting married and i was pushed into rushing into a commitment.
On the other hand,my husband is a good man and I dont want to hurt him. I feel like he left his previous marriage for good because of me. We have also bought an apartment together.

Any advice would be welcome

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  • User-anonymous rachl171 Flag

    I don't think you should ever feel obligated to stay in a relationship. Ours always difficult to end a relationship, especially when they've not really done anything wrong but it's your happiness you have to think about. It sounds like a really difficult situation, i hope you can come to a solution you'll be happy with in the long run.

    Tue 22, Aug 2017 at 4:24pm