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Am I over thinking this or does my fiance have no faith in me as a person? What should we do?

User-anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous
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Sun 16, Jul 2017 at 1:07am
Categories:
Getting on Better with my Partner, Communications in relationships, A Psychologist's Perspective
Tags:
Relationship problems,arguments,the future,fears,illness,financial troubles

So I guess I'll start with some background information. We have been together for 6 1/2 years and have been living together for just under 6 years. He originally moved in with me because his parents kept kicking him out, so we decide it was best to just move out instead of the whole back and forth thing. Since then we have been through a lot. We've just been though our 4 move at the beginning of the month and that is not counting when we lived in my car a few years ago. When he moved in with me, he had no job, no savings, and had recently dropped out of college. But after he got a job, he had more hours then me and he eventually got a second job. Unfortunately, my health started to decline around the same time. Two years ago, i started having trouble keeping a job and about 6 months ago it had became apparent that i could no longer work a normal job due to my health. Now we live with my elderly Aunt so that I may take care of her, while he only works one job.
I have been especially ill yesterday and today and he kindly offered to take care of me. Unfortunately about an hour later, he became quite foul-mood with me, and we had an arguement. Later during our talk things through phase, he said the reason he gets so upset when I ask him to do things while I'm feeling really sick is because he is worried that this will be a forever thing and that one day, I'll be bedridden "like my mom" and that he will always have to provide for me financially (my mother was never bedridden, she had let her depression get the best of her and she became so large that she had difficulties moving and in turn, my sibling and I where put into foster care, but she never had my current health problems.) I became very upset over this because 1) though I'm a large woman, I exercise regularly and eat healthily specifically to avoid my mother's fate. 2) I have never expressed complete helplessness to him while sick, unlike him. (i.e. we both got the flu one year and he rolled around like child while I cared for him and myself) 3) I am currently a full time student and the primary caretaker of my aunt. I am in college in order to learn some marketable skills like programming and bookkeeping, that I can get some jobs from home or in a private office. Plus currently, in exchange for taking care of my Aunt, I pay no rent and get a small stipend to cover my other bills, he just has to pay for himself and maybe a tank of gas or two because I drive him around. But the point boils down to the fact that for him, I'll be basically a useless blob of a wife and mother and this just crushes me. He says that it shouldn't matter to me since I don't believe that will ever happen, but it does matter because he is the one who I was going to start a family with, he of all people should believe in me. What should we do? Am I over thinking this too much?

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