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To Have a Shared View of our Future

To understand what motivates our partner – what they feel passionate about, what their dreams are – will bring us closer together and enrich our relationship. Differences become less threatening when we can understand them and appreciate their importance. And having a shared view of our future together, can make our lives run much more smoothly.

Exercises

  • Exercise Finding a Happy Compromise

    When we have a strong sense of where we’re going as a couple it’s easier to find ways of working with each other to achieve our goals. And having a shared view of our future together can make our lives run much more smoothly. So much of relationships is about sharing – sharing emotions and being able to listen, sharing time together and having fun, sharing our dreams, and sharing decision making. But to achieve a shared sense of direction we need to make time to talk through and negotiate decisions about the future. Quite often reaching agreement isn’t easy and it can be a struggle to find a happy compromise. Knowing each other better and understanding what is important to each of us can help us to get there. If we know why something matters so much we get an added insight into what our common ground might be. This exercise asks you to think about what gets in the way of working things out. If you understand why you disagree, and what your disagreement is really about, you’re more likely to find a way of moving on that satisfies both of you.

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  • Exercise Personal goals

    When we are in a relationship, there is often a tension between the desire to keep hold of a real sense of each other as individuals and the desire to have a strong sense of togetherness. Allowing and respecting our differences and the individuality we each bring to our partnership plays a big part in finding the right balance between ‘me’ and ‘us’. Knowing enough about each other is a good starting point but we also need to understand and respect those things that matter to us individually. To understand what motivates our partner, what they feel passionate about, what their dreams are, that will bring us closer together and enrich the relationship. Differences become less threatening when we can understand them and appreciate their importance. Most of us will have our own personal goals, which are important to our personal development. Finding a way of making our personal interests a positive dimension in our relationship, rather than a source of tension or distance, helps bring our worlds closer together.

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Quizzes

  • Exercise Are you ready to make a commitment?

    This quiz is designed to get you thinking about taking your relationship to the next level. While it’s intended for couples preparing for marriage, you may also find it useful if you’re planning on moving in or having a baby together.

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