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I want you to want him

16 Dec 13:45 by admin
Tags: what are you looking for in a relationship, sex partner

An interesting new study has brought up the idea that women find their partners more attractive when they see that they are desired by other women.

Generally speaking, this makes a lot of sense. People tend to work out what something is worth by seeing who else is interested in it. If you see lots of people buying a new book, you might start to think that book is worth reading.

The same, it seems, is true of partners. Particularly for heterosexual women, when it comes to choosing a partner, it might be useful know who his ex-partners are, and who else is interested in him… and how attractive those people are. In other words, if another attractive woman wants him, he might just be worth having.

What we now know, thanks to a research study charmingly titled “Female coital orgasm and male attractiveness” [1], is that women may even find themselves enjoying sex more with an ‘in demand’ partner.

The study showed that women who rate their partners as more attractive tended to be more likely to have had an orgasm during sex. This shouldn’t be too surprising. But what’s interesting is that, even when researchers ruled out all other factors, men who were perceived as being in demand, were still more likely to make the earth move, so to speak.

So, if you’re a single woman, looking for a man, and you find yourself pursuing what seems to be the most popular option – now you know why!



[1] Sela, Y., Weekes-Shackelford, V. A., Shackelford, K., & Pham, M. N. (2015). Female copulatory orgasm and male partner’s attractiveness to his partner and other women. Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, 79, 152-156.

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  • User-anonymous stelboy Flag

    This concept is not new. In his book: The Married Man Sex Life Primer (2011) Athol Kay refers to this as 'preselection'.

    Tue 5, Jan 2016 at 5:11pm