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Most Recent

  • flag

    every time me and my boyfriend go anywhere I always think he is looking at other girls and he spoken to his exes and met up with one? help

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    1 answer
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    • flag

      It sounds like you aren't sure that your boyfriend is really committed to you and he's still looking for someone else? Why not post your question on the forum and see what others say?

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  • flag

    Due to bad experience with his ex partner & seperated parents, my partner doesnt want to get married..

    Tags:
    He has never married but has a 'bad impression of it'
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    • flag

      It's not surprising he feels like this given his experience. It may be that your love may help to heal his pain and take the risk of marrying in the future. However, it might not happen...it is hard on you...but at least he is being honest. Looked at another way, he may well be saying he is more likely to have a successful relationship with you if he does not marry. Why not post on the forum and see what others have to say...it can help to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

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      • User-anonymous CS88 Flag

        Thank you for your feedback, i do appreciate it and it certainly makes sense!

        Why or how could a relationship possibly work better when not married? I think this could be a strong possibility but i just wouldnt be able to understand it fully?

        I have also posted on Forum, Thanks so much

        Tue 7, May 2013 at 4:45pm
  • flag

    My man of 2years has started to get too complaisant! How can i fire him up to realising what he has?

    Tags:
    Some say leave & then he will appreciate what he has,i really dont want to do this
    3 answers
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    • flag

      It sounds like you feel he takes you for granted...are you good at giving his love and attention....maybe you could ask him for what you want? Why not post on the forum and see what others think?

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      • User-anonymous CS88 Flag

        Hi Sinead!

        Thank you for your quick response :)

        I have posted on the Forum titled (Overcoming the mistake) Have a read if you can! Be great to hear what you think. Unfortuantely my partner had made a mistake (of cheating) a one off incident when under a huge amount of pressure in our relationship (that was VERY toxic at the time!)
        We are now trying to move forward and overcome this situation but i am finding his efforts are not as id wish for - he is not an overly emotional individual and also finds it hard to express feelings/emotions/reassurrance etc so this obviously doesnt help. In his defence, he has never been able to articulate his feelings too well so its not a sudden change. I just feel especially 'needy' of this at the moment (after what happened) and also want him to realise what he really could have lost (if i had not decided to forgive him)

        Thanks Sinead!

        Tue 7, May 2013 at 12:03pm
    • flag

      Hello friend how are you and your family? hope all is well with you,my name is Deborah, i will like to establish a good relationship with you.deborahadamu19@yahoo.com
      please reply back on my email so i can so i can send you my pictures and tell you more about me.
      (deborahadamu19@yahoo.com) (deborahadamu19AT yahoo(.)com)
      Hope to hear from you.
      Deborah

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    • flag

      Hello friend how are you and your family? hope all is well with you,my name is Deborah, i will like to establish a good relationship with you.deborahadamu19@yahoo.com
      please reply back on my email so i can so i can send you my pictures and tell you more about me.
      (deborahadamu19@yahoo.com) (deborahadamu19AT yahoo(.)com)
      Hope to hear from you.
      Deborah

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  • flag

    My bfhas lied to me for a year and a half about something. Its not a big thing but the fighting and communication with him is too hard.

    Tags:
    He won't come up with any solutions and wont try fix this. What will I do?
    1 answer
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    Answers

    • flag

      So, it's not the lie itself but the consequences that are so hard for you? Sounds like you feel on your own with this. Could you say a bit more about the situation or post on the forum with more detail?

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      • User-anonymous ruthhayes Flag

        Hi, thank you so much for the reply.

        Basically, without making myself sound like an angel.. because I know I am not.. I know I get upset and emotional and maybe care too much.

        Every evening this week has been awful.. fights and me in tears and him just not coming up with any solution to move forward and stop the fighting. So, this evening.. (I should mention he is abroad for 11 days.. the lies came apparent two nights before he went away) this evening I was talking to him online and trying to remain calm and he was too. We talked and I told him he needs to listen to me and allow me to talk to him about the situation so as I can clear my head, understand this and move past it. We talked for 20 minutes about it nicely and things were getting so much better and suddenly he told me to stop that we talked about this before and that it was enough. Basically to stop talking about it.. he won't communicate with me. I just want to iron it out so we don't come to this again and we can learn from it and so as I can not be hurt by it or bring it up anymore.

        So, I told him he makes it so hard for me to open up to him and communicate comfortably with him. He said "great" to that and I said to him that I can't do this anymore. I have big exams in 6days, 7 of them and I'm under so much stress I just wanted to confide in my boyfriend and make things better and fix the situation that he made happen by lying to me about things.

        Once I told him I couldn't do this anymore.. he stopped talking to me and turned off his computer and is asleep. He doesn't like the threat of me breaking up with him.. but I honestly can't continue with this circle of hurt and upset

        I know I care a lot but I guess I'm emotional and this is a seriously relationship I have invested so much in.

        I've been upset and crying every night this week.. I get sick when I get this upset and he knows it yet he goes asleep knowing i'm throwing up and having anxiety. It's a bad situation but I love him and he does love me but I dont know anymore..

        Sun 5, May 2013 at 10:56pm
  • flag

    im dating this guy for a year now& i love him but about 2 months i staring talking to a guy& i think i like him i dont know what to do helpp

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    • flag

      You sound quite confused over the new guy. If you really love your boyfriend perhaps you should stop talking to the new guy. Why not post on the forum with more details so you can get more opinions?

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      • User-anonymous 88AH Flag

        It all started when me and my bf had a fight and stop talking for like 4 days that's when the new guy started talking to me, day by day me and my bf made up and I didn't stop talking with the other guy (as friends) we talked like 24/7 and never seem to get bored, but when I talk to my bf we talked like 1 hour and on boring stuff so that's when I started to feel that I like the new guy

        Thu 2, May 2013 at 10:24pm
      • User-anonymous 88AH Flag

        Soo the guy who I'm with is really awesome I really like being around him but you know that feeling when he ignore you, and suddenly a guy appears giving you all the attention you want ....

        Thu 2, May 2013 at 10:08pm
  • flag

    My BF started to show more interest in me but he can b a bit jealous and possessive.what can i do to relax him and why does he act this way?

    Tags:
    confusion,love,jealousy,possessive
    1 answer
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    • flag

      Sometimes people are jealous because they feel insecure in their relationship. I wonder if you can ask your boyfriend how you can help him to feel more secure. It may have nothing to do with his relationship with you...but be rooted in his past experience. However, if you can talk about it as a couple, it may be that you can help him overcome this and begin to trust. There are articles on the site about building trust and little relationship insights...videos that might help. Try the 'cycle of happiness' to begin with...and see waht you think.

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  • flag

    i love a girl who lost her virginity with another person but im still a virgin. and feel like i have lost something special

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    1 answer
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    • flag

      There is no comparison to be made in making love with the person you love and any other experience. It stands on its own as new and very special because it is not just sex, it is the giving of your whole self. Why not post on the forum and see what others think?

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Most Answers

  • flag

    I'm worried my fiancé looks at porn. Its on his website data on his iPhone, he completely denies it. Is he lying to me or telling the truth?

    Tags:
    Porn
    3 answers
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    Answers

    • flag

      It seems you already know the answer to 'is he lying to me?' Does it upset you that he watches it? It may sound like a heartless question but some people don't mind at all and others are horrified by it. If you're worried about it then maybe having a discussion with him about what is accpetable to you might help. Trust is an important aspect of a relationship and it sounds as though you're not too sure whether you can trust what he says. There are some good articles on trust on the site - might be worth having a look at them. I hope it works out for you.

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      • User-anonymous twink Flag

        I have always known my husband has used porn every now and then it didn't bother me as I knew he loved me and we had a great sex life. But 8 years ago things changed he got more and more into it by the time I found out he was addicted to it and all the other trappings that go with it (web cams, sex chat rooms, and sex dating sites) . Now after 25 years we are splitting up. I have read so much about porn addiction now it seems to be one of the biggest reasons of break ups nowadays I'd just advise caution.

        Tue 19, Mar 2013 at 9:22am
      • User-anonymous mindyloves Flag

        I agree with Charlie.....I have been married for 33 years and all my happily married friends and myself have expoerienced this...its normal...and as long as its ok with you then he will not hide it or lie..it does not lead to affairs ....that will happen if he wants to wether he watches porn or not...all young boys look at it from age 12 or so. always have done and probably always will...but if you are not happy then its something you need to tell him...chance are he will then hide it as he clearly wants to do it then you will have a cycle of distrust and end up splitting up...the alternative is you accept it as harmless fun and curiosity. Just cos we don't have the need for it as men do doesnt mean we are right...do you want to be right or be happy???

        Fri 15, Mar 2013 at 12:55pm
    • flag

      Does it matter maybe he is embarrassed about it most men look at porn I would just not make a bug deal out of it

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    • flag

      It seems you already know the answer to 'is he lying to me?' Does it upset you that he watches it? It may sound like a heartless question but some people don't mind at all and others are horrified by it. If you're worried about it then maybe having a discussion with him about what is accpetable to you might help. Trust is an important aspect of a relationship and it sounds as though you're not too sure whether you can trust what he says. There are some good articles on trust on the site - might be worth having a look at them. I hope it works out for you.

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      Comments

  • flag

    My man of 2years has started to get too complaisant! How can i fire him up to realising what he has?

    Tags:
    Some say leave & then he will appreciate what he has,i really dont want to do this
    3 answers
    Give an answer ->

    Answers

    • flag

      It sounds like you feel he takes you for granted...are you good at giving his love and attention....maybe you could ask him for what you want? Why not post on the forum and see what others think?

        100% liked this  
      I Like I Dislike

      Comments

      • User-anonymous CS88 Flag

        Hi Sinead!

        Thank you for your quick response :)

        I have posted on the Forum titled (Overcoming the mistake) Have a read if you can! Be great to hear what you think. Unfortuantely my partner had made a mistake (of cheating) a one off incident when under a huge amount of pressure in our relationship (that was VERY toxic at the time!)
        We are now trying to move forward and overcome this situation but i am finding his efforts are not as id wish for - he is not an overly emotional individual and also finds it hard to express feelings/emotions/reassurrance etc so this obviously doesnt help. In his defence, he has never been able to articulate his feelings too well so its not a sudden change. I just feel especially 'needy' of this at the moment (after what happened) and also want him to realise what he really could have lost (if i had not decided to forgive him)

        Thanks Sinead!

        Tue 7, May 2013 at 12:03pm
    • flag

      Hello friend how are you and your family? hope all is well with you,my name is Deborah, i will like to establish a good relationship with you.deborahadamu19@yahoo.com
      please reply back on my email so i can so i can send you my pictures and tell you more about me.
      (deborahadamu19@yahoo.com) (deborahadamu19AT yahoo(.)com)
      Hope to hear from you.
      Deborah

        0% liked this  
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      Comments

    • flag

      Hello friend how are you and your family? hope all is well with you,my name is Deborah, i will like to establish a good relationship with you.deborahadamu19@yahoo.com
      please reply back on my email so i can so i can send you my pictures and tell you more about me.
      (deborahadamu19@yahoo.com) (deborahadamu19AT yahoo(.)com)
      Hope to hear from you.
      Deborah

        0% liked this  
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      Comments

  • flag

    My in-laws are a nightmare; always sniping, never friendly. Anyone got any tips for getting them on side?

    Tags:
    in-laws
    2 answers
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    • flag

      They will come around when you have your first child, enjoy your reprieve.

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    • flag

      Try and work out if you have any shared interests you could do together to form a bond.

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      • User-anonymous lizraymond Flag

        It is really lovely of you that you want to have a friendly relationship with them even though they have been unfriendly. They may fear that you will take their son away from them or may by shy of you. You could try responding to a critical comment with "Oh! Don't you like it? I thought it was just the thing" or you could try asking them about themselves. Things like where they lived as children, how they met, etc.

        Sat 7, Apr 2012 at 8:08am
  • flag

    I am 21 and I love babies and will like to be a mum soon but am i rushing cause im financially insecured?

    Tags:
    family planning
    2 answers
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    Answers

    • flag

      I think you need to slow down. People want babies at different times, but it is very important to be financially secure, especially nowadays, before you embark on having a child. Have you spoken to your partner about wanting a baby? Have you thought about your own career and education? Have you considered all that having a baby entails? Sit down and think about these questions before you consider having a child.

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    • flag

      I think you need to slow down. People want babies at different times, but it is very important to be financially secure, especially nowadays, before you embark on having a child. Have you spoken to your partner about wanting a baby? Have you thought about your own career and education? Have you considered all that having a baby entails? Sit down and think about these questions before you consider having a child.

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  • flag

    on the verge of breaking up after many years cos of lack of sex we both let it go but i dont want her to leave please help

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    2 answers
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    • flag

      This situation seems similar to a couple of other questions placed here. It seems to me that you need to talk to your partner and really discuss how your future is going to be and it may be that you come to a difficult decision because your needs are not being met. It has happened over a number of years and it is still not resolved. Perhaps counselling may help you to come to a resolution that enables you and your partner to move forward in a way that is good for you both

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    • flag

      Hi, someone called Dr. Lori Boul is going to be holding an online discussion on Feb 15th at 8pm about sex & relationships, apparently she'll answer any questions you might have. I'd say it was worth investigating. I saw information about it on the home page of this site.

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  • flag

    I hid a picture from my holidays as I was scared of what my boyfriend would think. He found it and now says he can't trust me

    Tags:
    2 answers
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    • flag

      If you were scared of what he might think of the picture and hid it in the first place then that means you knew that something like this would happen if he found it.
      It' s one of two things, either he's to controlling, jealous, uptight, whatever or you know that you're wrong and well you're going to have try build back that trust that you guys once had...

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    • flag

      I guess it all depends what the picture shows...I think that there are two questions here.

      Firstly, I would ignore what your boyfriend might think and suggest that you ask yourself what YOU think of the photo? Where you doing something that you are happy to and can comfortably defend? Is it innocent? You need to be honest with yourself. If all is innocent, stand your ground and don't apologise for it...we are who we are and we get found out eventually.

      Secondly, as far as your boyfriend is concerned, if it is innocent fun, then he will have to grow up and accept that you are an adult and that he can trust you. But he will only trust you if you are honest with him and stop hiding things. Is there any reason why he shouldn't trust you?

      If he continues not to trust you or to make you feel that you need to hide things, then you need to think about what the relationship means to you. Is this the kind of relationship you want? Innocent things like this can become a slippery slope that undermines the success of even the strongest relationships.

      I hope I have helped...good luck :)

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  • flag

    My bf has slept with over 100 girls, a few when we were seeing each other,his past really upsets me and its affecting our relationship. Help

    Tags:
    bf past
    2 answers
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    • flag

      It would help if you stopped focusing on the past and think about what it was that drew you to him in the firs place. Try to keep your relationship in the present and even looking to the future. But the past as you are aware is not always a great place.

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    • flag

      What are you doing with a guy who slept over with 100 girls? Can you trust him? You deserve the best. :)

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