Jeallousy getting out of control...please help!
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years now and have a 1 year son together. Our relationship has had its ups and downs over the past 5 years but generally we are very happy together. Recently though I have discovered a couple of lets say 'truths' regarding my partner.
1. He chatted to an old flame on facebook after we started dating and some of the content...it said things like, thinking of you, nice picture (never saw the picture but he reassures me it wasnt anything racey, they also tried meeting up several times but never did, after a few days of argueing he reassured me it meant nothing and he was sorry.
2. I found out he kissed another girl the week after our first date which we also slept together that night. I was heartbroken becuase I basically thought that the date and night we spent together obviously meant nothing to him. But also after days of argueing and hurting he told me it was a drunken mistake and regretted it.
3. I found out he watched porn behind my back a couple of times. We occasionally watch it together but I never dreamed he would watch it on his own. He wasnt going to tell me at all but I found an old receipt to a porn site on television. To be honest I really wish I never found out. Even though he was apoloegtic he said its something all men do and doesnt mean anything. Im still paranoid he may do it behind my back as he doesnt see it as a big deal.
You may think Im being stupid as this happened so long ago and I should just let it go but its a big deal for me. My partner works 15 hour days and hardly has anytime together at the moment so its hard to chat to him and when I try and do he gets mad at me for bringing it up again. But mainly Im just looking for some reassurance from him.
I have always been a jeallous person for many reasons 1 being my ex cheated on me and it was 5 months before I found out and was totally shocked as didnt suspect a thing. Anyway ever since these problems have come about my jeallousy has gone to a new level. My insecurities are eating me up. Its awful. I love my partner very much he means the world to me, but for some reason somethings holding me back. Its like hes not the man I thought he was. Im jeallous over past girlfriends as well some of which he is still friends with. How can I get this jeallousy under control and enjoy my life with my family? Any help or advice would be greatly recieved.