How do I ask him??
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4 February 2012 @ 15:01
I am 41 and my partner is 40 and we have been in a relationship for almost 18 months. Our sex life has always been great from day 1 but a few weeks ago I found packets of viagra hidden in his wardrobe and each time I stay over one dissapears so I know he is using them??? I want to approach him but how can I without him feeling embaressed or thinking I have been snooping through his things? I feel a bit hurt too as he should be able to talk to me about these things, we are planning on moving in together so I would have found out about them.... all advice more than welcome.
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Aww guess I am really lucky in one respect but yeh he does have insecurites and confidence issues so I have decided not to mention anything, not yet anyway, but I think I will have to drop some subtle hints, see if he comes clean. It really isnt a problem for me, and I will support him 100% when he does finally talk about it. The stigma about viagra has made it a bit of a joke and guess this is why so many men hide the fact that they take it, bet there's alot more men hiding them from their wives/partners because of this.
I can imagine it's a little bit of a shock, but hey at least you didn't find letters, or photographs of other women! Clearly he wants to satisfy you and doesn't want to let you down. Maybe he was waiting for the right time, or maybe he just has such a struggle with his confidence that he found it too much. At least at the end of the day, you were having a fulfilled relationship and he has done something about his problem. Many men like mine, wouldn't bother. He is to worried about facing a doctor and admitting he has a problem, leaving me and our relationship to struggle in that area. Perhaps he has been planning to tell you and hasn't found the right moment yet! Maybe he's tried and lost the bottle, or maybe he is terrified that if he tells you, he thinks you won't want him anymore and think that he is false in some way! Now you have found them I think you need to think carefully how you will approach this in order not for him to lose confidence. You have a choice, you can leave it for a while and see if he plucks up the courage, you could start a conversation about such things and give him an opening, or you can simply tell him you stumbled across the medication and ask him why he didn't tell you. Personally, I would probably try and open up a conversation demonstrating I'm not judgemental and that I'm open to anyone getting help as and when they need it. I wish my partner would have plucked up the courage to go and sort himself out, but then we know the reasons whey he has the issues, it's called alcohol. Good luck.