Choosing between Partner or Lover
I have been in a relationship for 13 years, not married, no children, but own a home together, have joint accounts, etc... I recently started seeing someone else about 4 months ago. I met him at work almost 5 years ago as he used to work in my building. When we met he asked me out and I mentioned that I was in a relationship so it didn't lead to much except friendly work e-mails once in a while. He left the building for another job several months later but still worked near by so we kept in touch. Maybe cute flirty e-mails, a random friendly lunch once in a long time and that's about it, I mean almost a year would go by and we would not talk. Long story short he's back in my life and we started spending time together. We were always very attracted to one another and one day we went out for drinks after work and we kissed. That changed my relationship with my partner completely, my feelings for him changed. I continued to see this guy and eventually moved out of my house with a friend and never explained to my partner why I was doing it except that I needed some space to find myself. My partner/boyfriend is a wonderful man, we had a great relationship and loved one another very much, but we did lack passion and sex. Now I've been seeing this guy and he is suddenly not as available when before he was sooo into me. Although we are exclusive he keeps saying we need to see were things go and take it slow and is not promising anything. I don't have that kind of time because my ex boyfriend has been waiting around to see when and if I will return but also said that he is starting to lose the love he had for me. Now I feel like I ruined a good thing with my ex. I use to love my ex very much and I want to feel and have what I once did with my ex, but can that still happen with me having strong feelings for the new guy? Can I even break it off? It seems so hard because at this point I feel addicted to him. Can my ex and I still feel the same love we once had...he doesn't know at this point that I cheated? No one knows about this new guy and I feel like I'm living a double life which causes me to feel like a mental and emotional mess... Please help.