Are you emotionally intelligent?

What would make you happier: a sought-after salary or an enduring relationship? According to one piece of research, a long-term marriage actually has the psychic benefit of an annual salary of £65,000.

The secret to happiness, says New York Times columnist and author David Brooks, lies within your ability to form social bonds, while money and contentment are only tenuously linked. Brooks believes happiness levels are determined by the number of people we associate with, and how intimately we associate with them, meaning we should shift the focus from our professional skills to our social ones.

And while you might think that emotional intelligence can’t be learned past infancy, research suggests that we can in fact educate our emotions at any time; not just by being more introspective, but through the sort of music we listen to and art we view, too.

But what does it mean to be emotionally intelligent? Simply put, it’s the ability to identify, assess, and manage our own emotions, those of others and those of groups. Why not try building upon your own emotional intelligence with these top tips?

• Spend time with others. Look at people when they are talking to you and try to identify patterns between expressions and emotions.
   
• Control yourself. If a situation looks set to become explosive remove yourself from it and refuse to respond to “button pushers” until you’ve calmed down.
   
• Ask yourself how you’ll feel. Before making decisions weigh up how you will potentially feel if you do something and compare it to how you’ll feel if you don’t.
   
• See the bigger picture. Think about how your actions will make those around you feel, whether it be friends, family members or colleagues. Consider the ripple affect your emotions can have on other people.
   
• Take responsibility for your own feelings. Try to analyse your own feelings rather than the actions of people or situations you perceive have made you feel that way. Our feelings are often a good indicator of our unmet emotional needs.
   

How central are your relationships with others to your happiness? Are you reliant on another half, or quite content on your own? Leave your comments below!