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  • flag

    Who could my partner talk to about his constant cheating? He wants help to understand why he is doing it.

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    • flag

      He could "talk" to someone online on the Listening Room on this site from 8.30 Sundays and every weekday evening and 4.30 on Saturdays. I wonder if he is always flity with women? It may be that he could learn other ways of being with women. It would be interesting to know why all these women fall into his arms, wouldn't it?

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    • flag

      Your partner could try "talking" to someone online on the Listening Room on this site which is open from 8.30 pm during the week and on Sundays, and 4.30pm on Saturdays. I just wonder if he is always "flirty" with females? He could try learning other ways of being with women, rather than seeing them all as possible sex partners. It would be interesting to know how all these women fall into his arms, wouldn't it?

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    • flag

      Some counselling might help. You could get in touch with an organisation like BACP either online or by telephone to find a counsellor near you. His GP might also offer NHS counselling. or group self discovery sessions. Another suggestion is that he gets in touch with the Listening Room on this site which opens at 8.30pm during the week or 4.30 on Saturdays. There is the possibility of "talking" online to a counsellor on the Listening Room.

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  • flag

    I'm worried my fiancé looks at porn. Its on his website data on his iPhone, he completely denies it. Is he lying to me or telling the truth?

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    Porn
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    • flag

      It seems you already know the answer to 'is he lying to me?' Does it upset you that he watches it? It may sound like a heartless question but some people don't mind at all and others are horrified by it. If you're worried about it then maybe having a discussion with him about what is accpetable to you might help. Trust is an important aspect of a relationship and it sounds as though you're not too sure whether you can trust what he says. There are some good articles on trust on the site - might be worth having a look at them. I hope it works out for you.

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      Comments

      • User-anonymous twink Flag

        I have always known my husband has used porn every now and then it didn't bother me as I knew he loved me and we had a great sex life. But 8 years ago things changed he got more and more into it by the time I found out he was addicted to it and all the other trappings that go with it (web cams, sex chat rooms, and sex dating sites) . Now after 25 years we are splitting up. I have read so much about porn addiction now it seems to be one of the biggest reasons of break ups nowadays I'd just advise caution.

        Tue 19, Mar 2013 at 9:22am
      • User-anonymous mindyloves Flag

        I agree with Charlie.....I have been married for 33 years and all my happily married friends and myself have expoerienced this...its normal...and as long as its ok with you then he will not hide it or lie..it does not lead to affairs ....that will happen if he wants to wether he watches porn or not...all young boys look at it from age 12 or so. always have done and probably always will...but if you are not happy then its something you need to tell him...chance are he will then hide it as he clearly wants to do it then you will have a cycle of distrust and end up splitting up...the alternative is you accept it as harmless fun and curiosity. Just cos we don't have the need for it as men do doesnt mean we are right...do you want to be right or be happy???

        Fri 15, Mar 2013 at 12:55pm
    • flag

      Does it matter maybe he is embarrassed about it most men look at porn I would just not make a bug deal out of it

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    • flag

      It seems you already know the answer to 'is he lying to me?' Does it upset you that he watches it? It may sound like a heartless question but some people don't mind at all and others are horrified by it. If you're worried about it then maybe having a discussion with him about what is accpetable to you might help. Trust is an important aspect of a relationship and it sounds as though you're not too sure whether you can trust what he says. There are some good articles on trust on the site - might be worth having a look at them. I hope it works out for you.

        0% liked this  
  • flag

    My man of 2years has started to get too complaisant! How can i fire him up to realising what he has?

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    i really dont want to do this
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    • flag

      It sounds like you feel he takes you for granted...are you good at giving his love and attention....maybe you could ask him for what you want? Why not post on the forum and see what others think?

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      • User-anonymous CS88 Flag

        Hi Sinead!

        Thank you for your quick response :)

        I have posted on the Forum titled (Overcoming the mistake) Have a read if you can! Be great to hear what you think. Unfortuantely my partner had made a mistake (of cheating) a one off incident when under a huge amount of pressure in our relationship (that was VERY toxic at the time!)
        We are now trying to move forward and overcome this situation but i am finding his efforts are not as id wish for - he is not an overly emotional individual and also finds it hard to express feelings/emotions/reassurrance etc so this obviously doesnt help. In his defence, he has never been able to articulate his feelings too well so its not a sudden change. I just feel especially 'needy' of this at the moment (after what happened) and also want him to realise what he really could have lost (if i had not decided to forgive him)

        Thanks Sinead!

        Tue 7, May 2013 at 11:03am
    • flag

      Hello friend how are you and your family? hope all is well with you,my name is Deborah, i will like to establish a good relationship with you.deborahadamu19@yahoo.com
      please reply back on my email so i can so i can send you my pictures and tell you more about me.
      (deborahadamu19@yahoo.com) (deborahadamu19AT yahoo(.)com)
      Hope to hear from you.
      Deborah

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    • flag

      Hello friend how are you and your family? hope all is well with you,my name is Deborah, i will like to establish a good relationship with you.deborahadamu19@yahoo.com
      please reply back on my email so i can so i can send you my pictures and tell you more about me.
      (deborahadamu19@yahoo.com) (deborahadamu19AT yahoo(.)com)
      Hope to hear from you.
      Deborah

        0% liked this  
  • flag

    Am I wasting my time?

    Tags:
    I take us out on days out,to the cinema,get us take away's
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    • flag

      Listen to your friends. It may be the age gap, but he doesn't seen right for you. By taking him out and buying him nice things you may think you're being the perfect girlfriend but things like that should never influence someone's feelings for you.
      I am 24, and I dated someone pretty similar for about 9 months, he was texting a girl and I tried to convince myself it was nothing but all that does it cause you to be paranoid and doubt everything he says and does which isn't healthy.
      I left that relationship and although I was sad, I was so much better off for it!
      You'll know when it's right, be honest with yourself, are u truly happy? Or are you forcing it because you think you really want this?
      I am the most idealistic person ever, I dream of the perfect husband with the house and kids and in some ways that makes me my own worst enemy because when things aren't perfect I panic, I think you may be a little like me. Things won't always be perfect but if I'm honest with you, I think you need to move on and think about you! Sorry if its not what you wanted to hear.

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    • flag

      I hate to say it but you probably are. He said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, and he is investing attention in someone else. He is keeping you at arms length deliberately. Keep looking for someone that will return your love.

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    • flag

      You might be better posting this on the forum...where others are more likely to respond. What really stuck out for me when I read your post was that you said you were not good enough for him. That is unlikely to be the case...you write as an articulate,intelligent and warm young woman. Low self esteem rarely helps a relationship...and maybe you need to deal with that separate from the relationship. On the issue of his texts to another woman...it is usually a mistake to go looking at a partners communications with others...However, your intuition seemed to be telling you something wasn't quite as you wished. If he is not being honest with you, is it possible for you to allow that fact to help you love him less? If he is behaving in an underhand way...he certainly doesn't deserve to be loved for it. It is also worth taking on board the fact that even if he is not being underhand...you might be showing him your dependence on the relationship to such an extent that he feels fearful of it. What do you think?

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  • flag

    During oral sex my b/f removes the condom and insists I swallow his cum. If I say no he makes me so I just let him. How can I get him to leave it on?

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    • flag

      If you are not happy with doing this, it is sexual abuse and there is no way you have to do it - tell him before you have sex with him again that you are not going to do this and if he then makes you do it again, please leave him, it is totally unacceptable to be abused in this way. If you need help leaving, talk to Womens Aid at www.womensaid.org.uk Please don't put up with being treated like this.

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      • User-anonymous Mary_Beth Flag

        Unless you're in a BDSM relationship, this is abuse. If you are in a BDSM relationship... use your safeword. If he ignores it, you need to get out.

        Tue 22, Nov 2016 at 1:29am
      • User-anonymous India Flag

        He shouldn't make you do anything.

        Mon 8, Jun 2015 at 4:41pm
    • flag

      I absolutely agree with the moderator. This is abuse. And if he can't see that and enjoys having you do what feels uncomfortable sexually, imagine the lessor ways in which he may violate your boundaries. This is a red flag. Tell him he can keep the condom on, or he can skip fellatio. I am not saying I feel a particular way about the topic, but I am saying that you are worthy of being respected for your boundaries. And if he moves on because of it, that may be to your benefit in the long run.

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      • Blue_eye_1680x1050 HeartLight Flag

        A small addition: If you knew a female you cared for, a daughter, niece, best friend, a neighbor...were experiencing this very thing, what would you say to them? What thoughts would you have about it happening to someone else?

        Fri 6, Jun 2014 at 4:40pm
    • flag

      you can tell him youre not comfortable with that- and you feel better having the condom there. if he insists he takes it off, you can tell him that its really unfair that he's making you do something you don't want to do

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  • flag

    Depressive partners insecurity issues

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  • flag

    how to deal with ladies that lead you on

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    • flag

      I don't know what is behind your question...but my first thought is that you have a choice about whether or not to follow! However, I am sure its more complicated than that...why don't you post on the forum with more detail?

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    • flag

      I don't know what is behind your question...but my first thought is that you have a choice about whether or not to follow! However, I am sure its more complicated than that...why don't you post on the forum with more detail?

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    • flag

      I don't know what is behind your question...but my first thought is that you have a choice about whether or not to follow! However, I am sure its more complicated than that...why don't you post on the forum with more detail?

        0% liked this