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Relationship trouble my boyfriend still going to his x wife flat and have a key

Posted by: Anonymous
Thu 16, Feb 2017 at 1:44pm
Mixed Families
Please help

Hi everyone, I have been with my boyfriend for over two years now . He move in with me last year,but he is still going to the flat he used to share with his ex wife and he has a key and still paying the rent. He said he love the place and his furnitures and that is why he goes there plus he can relax. I keep having the same problem with him , because I don't agree with this kind of arrangement even if his ex wife is but he I have

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  • Cc admin Flag

    That does seem like a very unusual arrangement. Are you concerned about the relationship he has with his ex, or is it just that he uses the flat when she's not there?

    You haven't given much information about the living arrangements at your home, so these questions may not all be relevant, but I'll do my best to help - did he move into a place where you already lived? Is it possible for him to move some of his furniture into your place? Have you asked him if there's anything you can do in your place to help it feel more relaxing for him?

    You may have already considered all of this, but I just wonder if it might be possible to provide some of whatever he's seeking over there so that he doesn't feel the need to go any more.

    Wed 22, Feb 2017 at 11:08am
  • User-anonymous Cimone Flag

    rom the the beginning. I met my boyfriend on a dating site. We dated for a 5 months before we have sex. His wife text me one day and told me he is a married man. I called him and he said he is married, but they aren't together as husband and wife. I ended the relationship, but then his wife called me and told me that they are not together, but they are together, because he gambbled their savings when he last his job and now he is paying her back so she can buy a house. I know I am a foolish person to have agreed to date him while he was still shared the a place with the ex wife. However they moved into a bedroom flat and he told me he had a year to paid the full rent is like he is giving her the money back . I did not think it was right, but I thought he should paid her . I did not want him to moving with me, because it was too early days. He told me once all is done we can start new. It was all a lie it has been disappointment after another.
    He moved in with me ,but he made a deal with his ex wife he paid half of the rent until she buy a house. I didn't know when found out I kicked him out and the ex wife texted me and told me she borrow some money from him that is why she asked for the money. He said he goes there when she not at home, but he is still doing shopping or collected her mail from the old flat . He said he love the flat and he wants to move there when she buy her place, but it been 2 years I don't think she will. He said my place is too small for his stuff plus his mum and dad like the flat . His brother and his family is coming in July they can stay there , because my flat is too little .I know I have to break up with him now . 3 weeks ago he was off his weekend job , but he went out both days pretend he was going to work and went to spent the day there . When I said something his best argument is he is not kissing or sleeping with no one and he is not doing anything wrong, but I said he is doing wrong to me , because he knows I would have never stay with him if I know if will be still having such a close relationship with his ex wife.
    I can not take my own advice, but please help me.

    Wed 22, Feb 2017 at 4:17pm
  • User-anonymous Cimone Flag

    He said he is going there because he love the flat and his furnitures. ..

    Wed 22, Feb 2017 at 4:17pm
  • Cc admin Flag

    It's interesting that you say you can't take your own advice - it's encouraging that you have that awareness. Just out of interest, what would 'your own advice' be? What would you say to a close friend who was facing the same issue?

    Wed 1, Mar 2017 at 10:10am
  • User-anonymous Cimone Flag

    Looking at all the heartache , the mistrmistrust and leaving with someone who keep putting you last .
    I will said you are wasting your time you should find someone that you are making plans for the future together not someone who you are making when is the best time to end your relationship
    I do want he to leave, but at time I feel like I am addicted to him ...

    Sat 4, Mar 2017 at 12:16am