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Relationship issues

Posted by: Anonymous
Tue 16, May 2017 at 7:13pm
Communications in relationships

I am in a relationship with someone who cannot accept my kids from a previous marriage. She has no kids, and doesnt want them, but tried as she wanted to be with me. But we experience constant problems and she wont accept my kids into our relationship.

For the last 2 years I have had to keep my relationship separate from my children and its hard work.

We have broken up several times as everyday things that involve my kids create issues and rows. The kids live with their mom and i have access. Currently we have split up and i see my ids 3 weekends a month but we want to try again and she has told me i would have to return to alternate weekends to give us any chance, and agree to keep my kids separate from our relationship.

I dont know if I am being unfair to her by not dedicating time to build our relationship away from my kids, or she is being unfair to me by not accepting my kids. She knew i had children when we got together, but am i right to expect her to accept them unconditionally? Should i expect a period of time where i have to put my relationship as a priority and focus time to grow it? Im so confused, i find it almost impossible to set a happy balance to keep everyone happy and im at my wits end.

Please, if anyone can offer some friends advice that would be great.

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  • User-anonymous Tmoni Flag

    Children are a package deal. If she had children she would want you to accept them. I think she is being unfair unless your children are rude and disrespectful and if this is the case she needs to end the relationship b/c they are still your children.

    I hate to say this but your relationship will never grow to anything real unless you're willing to not have a relationship with your children and that's not fair to them.

    Find someone who is ok dating a man with children

    Tue 16, May 2017 at 11:08pm
  • User-anonymous Patrice Flag

    I have to agree with Tmoni. She knew you had children. Divorce is not easy for children and she should have known that their needs will come first for the time being. That she is expecting you to spend less time with them, to accommodate her needs, is a little selfish. She can see you 5 days a week, and 1 week a month she has you all to herself.

    I also would recommend to try to find a partner who supports you and your responsibilities as a parent.

    Wed 24, May 2017 at 10:15am