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Rebuilding Trust...

Posted by: Anonymous
Tue 20, Jul 2010 at 2:21pm
Affairs and Jealousy

I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, we've recently moved in together. We love our house and we were very happy. Everyone around us agreed that we looked so happy together and I agree, I love him, we have everything in common, I like to believe he's my soulmate however corny that sounds.
Now to the issue, a few days ago I found texts on his phone of him discussing meeting up with a girl for sex. Obviously i was devestated and just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
We've talked, cried and I've agreed not to move out until the end of our 6 month contract in the hopes that we can sort this out. When i ask him about it he says he has no reason and that he has no idea why he did it. Since I found out hes been begging me not to move out, constantly telling me he loves me and has been very loving. I'm not sure if it's out of guilt or because he's realised what he could have lost, I kind of hope its the second one. I feel alot better than I did when I first found out. I still keep having moments and I break down but he'll hug me until I feel ok again.
I just want to know if we can rebuild our trust. Before this happened he was the most honest person I'd ever met, he'd go out with his friends, stay out and I could sleep soundly because I knew he only wanted me, I trusted him with my life. Now I'm confused.

Can we sort this out? Can I ever trust him again?

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  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    sorry but there's one thing i need to break with you, is just plain talking is different than actually thinking about putting it into action. it sounds like he indeed WANTED to meet up with a girl for sex. I dont think its your problem, it's his. i believe you could rebuild the trust with someone who has once cheated but that takes a LOT OF work, and of course, that all depends if he thinks what he did is really wrong. I dont know, i am a person that live with hope, but regarding to that, it's hard. just cos he did that bin the past, in the future, you would always assume he's doing something even when he's not. 

    Tue 20, Jul 2010 at 5:47pm
  • User-anonymous oxenham Flag

    Maybe you should give eachother space for a month or so, then you will both see if this relationship is what you really want. And hopefully he will discover the reason why he is begging for you back and saying he loves you, wether its because of guilt, or because he realised what he could of lost. Then you will both know what you want.

    Wed 21, Jul 2010 at 11:30pm