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My boyfriend snapped

Posted by: Anonymous
Fri 19, May 2017 at 11:45am

My boyfriend of four years went absolutely psycho tonight and i am currently up at a friends trying to work out what to do.. Our relationship had been going incredibly smoothly up until yesterday. He wanted to sell something to a friend at work (mildly drug related, although he has always been very anti drug and clean cut) that i had thrown away a while ago. He didn't know i had thrown it out (because i had an issue with what it was and did not want it in the house) and he was furious when i told him over the phone. He didn't speak to me last night.
i thought we would be fine today but when i came home from work i was still receiving the silent treatment. After a while i asked what was wrong (and probably persisted too much in order to get an answer) and he absolutely ended up going mental. He called me an ugly bitch, he called me fat (I'm 118 pounds and athletic), he told me to f*** off and to kill myself, he pushed my into a wall and winded me, he told me to get out oh his house (we moved out together and he technically owns it but i chose it and have been living there for the past three years) the WORST thing though was that he threatened to kill one of my bunnies.
I have two beautiful bunnies that i love to death, he went out into their hutch and picked one up. I know he was bluffing, after four years he i know he wouldnt have but i was calm and was taking his crap until he went into that hutch. I screamed at him, i told him i would call the police if he harmed my pets, I picked up a full bucket of water and threw it all over him so he would put my little bunny down. I packed my stuff as soon as he got out of the hutch and went to my friends up the road. An hour later i went back down and checked my rabbits were okay and dry. They were and i fed them but did not go inside. This fight was nuts. The neighbours would have heard me screaming i was going to call the police. I dont know if this is something i can get over. I haven't even fully processed all this i know it will be too painful. My friened even said this was totally out of character for him. He has never called me ugly or fa before, he has never physically hurt me before. I mean this was so out of the blue, do you end a four year relationship over one fight? I don't know what to do? I would love some real advice

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  • Cc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Sounds like this was a terrible shock for you. No wonder you are not sure what to do next.
    It's good that you have got away, found some support and got yourself some thinking time. What you have described is an incident of domestic abuse, triggered by your partner's feelings about you having got rid of this object.. What I'm left thinking is, 'Why did he react so strongly?' It reminds me a bit of how addicts react when something comes between them and the object of their addiction. I'm wondering if this outburst is connected to drug use by your partner or somebody he's associated with who has some sort of hold over him? Had he promised it to someone and then wasn't able to deliver? Might he have been desperate for money for some reason?
    I know this is gonna sound harsh but, whatever the reason for his outburst,, your safety may depend on you getting to the bottom of this before you make any definite decisions about your future relationship with this guy.
    If you haven't already, you might want to think about getting some advice by contacting a helpline such as Women's Aid or Refuge.
    Take care.

    Tue 23, May 2017 at 12:26pm