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My boyfriend did something really dumb and now my trust is broken

User-anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous
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Wed 1, Mar 2017 at 2:58am

As the title suggests- my boyfriend has done something in the past few days thats totally blind sided me. He's an anti drugs guy and has always thoughts people who did drugs were stupid. I am a nearly qualified counsellor and have already seen enough of the damaging effects of drug use; So i was absolutely mortified when an aneasthetic gas, known to give users a lasting high shows up in the mail for my partner.

He works on a mine production site and the last few lots of apprentices to be hired are useless to say the least. All of them, heavily into party drugs that will not show up on the random tests required to work on the site. I am disgusted that my boyfriend has become such a sheep and would purchase something with potentially serious neurological consequences online. Needless to say, this caused a fight that has lasted 3 long days now. As he did not use the product, i put it away with out his knowledge and he has not asked about it again.

The arguement was starting to resolve until he messaged me today saying he might go camping with these guys this weekend (hes never hung out with them outside work other than when i was in bali and he got insanely drunk to spite me) i replied saying it was his decision but think its a bad idea after constantly fighting this week. I feel like if he goes it will cause more issues because 1, last time he was with them he was stupid and spiteful and 2, theyve just influenced him to buy drugs online how can i possibly trust him/ them?

Im so furious but trying to hide it because an outburst will push him into going no questions asked. I feel like hes changed because of these losers and is pushing me out of his life. I feel im the model girlfriend with my patience and kindness towards him. Hes walking over me and i just want to explode. How can i convince him to stay home and work things out with me with out being direct. Men hate conversation and confrontation so everything needs to be so delicate other wise he will get pissed off and go.

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Comments

  • User-anonymous TrinTrin3 Flag

    Hello,

    I am not so sure if this would help you at all but as someone who has been in a situation where an ex (for this reason) who was particularly against drinking and drugs was influenced by newly met friends into taking drugs and it having a very bad effect on our relationship, i would like to say:

    Would it be a good idea to simply ask what was going on? As in when you two are both free calmly sit down bring the high out of hiding and say "this came in the post for you i am not happy about it and i want to know why you have bought it" i don't know exactly what has been said during the arguements but if you could bring it up bluntly and openly as possible exactly what you think, feel and want to know, he should listen to you at the least and answer you honestly. Any delicate covert operation isnt going to make him go or not go to a camping night with these newly met friends, ild always vote for being calm and saying "i do not want you to go as i believe you may do drugs when you do go" then he will know what you think and its reasonable considering he bought a high online why else would he (particularly since you know him as not into drugs).

    Possibly not helpful and maybe as you are so angry it would only become an arguement.

    Wed 1, Mar 2017 at 5:40pm
  • User-anonymous Anonymous Flag

    Appreciate your comment as you have been in the same situation! Things have calmed down and are nearly to a point where bringing it up is possible. Hoping it goes well but partly feel as though if we ended things it would not be terrible, if he is going down this path i do not want to be dragged down as well and i feel thats as good as any reason to end our time together.

    Wed 1, Mar 2017 at 11:41pm