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my boyfriend called our baby annoying

Posted by: Anonymous
Tue 20, Jun 2017 at 1:35am
Becoming a Parent, Friends & Family, Bringing up Children Together, A Psychologist's Perspective

My boyfriend and I both work and we have a 9 month old baby together. Very rarely if the babysitter cant come one of us will watch her. Today he had to watch her and it is always a huge job for him. He isn't very good at being a parent and will get frustrated fast. I am the one who usually does all the work. I wake up in the middle of the night, I get her ready, I bathe her, dress her, feed her and basically anything else she needs. All he does is play with her occasionally. Today after watching her while I was work we were talking in the kitchen and I was getting her stuff ready for bed. I was holding her and she was fussing and whining. He then proceeded to tell her, to her face, "why are you so annoying?"..."you're so annoying"....I got extremely mad cause I felt like it was very disrespectful of him and it really shocked me that he would say that to her. He has a child with someone else, a 3yo and he has NEVER spoke to that child ever in that way. I decided to.bring it up to him and express my concern and he flipped on me and claimed that.if he had lived with his other child he would probably say the same things. But I.know thats.bullshit. He can be verbally abusive towards me at times and now I feel like he is being verbally abusive towards her. I.know she is too small to understand but thats it very.unfather like to say to her sweet innocent face. What Should I do?

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  • User-anonymous 89Momof4 Flag

    I would say that not only is it disrespectful and not very fatherly, but I'd personally be worried about him doing something to her while watching her by himself (i.e. Shaken Baby Syndrome). I'm not trying to scare you, but just about every case I see for Shaken Baby, the parent has become frustrated w/ the baby for constant crying or being needy (which, babies are supposed to do is cry, because that's how they let us know they need something as I'm sure you know). Majority of the Shaken Baby cases, the father was the culprit. I have hd some experience w/ my ex abusing my oldest when she was 4 years old. Of course not Shaken Baby, but he got frustrated and mad that she wouldn't get out of bed for Pre-K. He apparently smacked her around to the point that when I got her from school that afternoon, she had 2 (2!) black eyes and her cheek was red w/ abrasions and like how you get smacked full force. Was like that for 2+ weeks. It only takes one time. This was one and only time. And yeah, he was verbally abusive to me, and he would throw stuff at me and hit me w/ it, including cans of soup! I didn't think he'd hurt either of our 2 kids either, until that day he did that to my daughter. I thought one day he would just move on to putting his hands on me, but never thought he'd do it to our kids. I'm just saying please take caution, please be aware of the warning signs, and I'm sorry to say, but I don't think he should be left alone w/ her.

    Tue 20, Jun 2017 at 2:37pm