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I want to save my relationship... I need some advices.

Posted by: Anonymous
Thu 13, Apr 2017 at 4:11pm
Sex/Intimacy and romance, Making a Commitment, Communications in relationships

Hello. I will be as brief as I can.
I take medication for controlling my depression. Every time that I have a crisis. He disappears.

Not only that. It is almost impossible to know what He is thinking? Most of the time seems that He is blaming me for all that happens between us.

At the same time, He doesn't like to speak with me face to face. He says that I won't listen but if I am demanding his explanations why I wouldn't listen them.

He loves to uses this silence rule. He is able to disappear on dates as Valentine, Eastern. He has stopped to talk me since yesterday. I will give him space.

Our last (I don't know how to say it) disagreement He said that we needed to take everything slowly. No kisses, hugs. No physical contact. However, the other day we meet up and I hug him. I didn't kiss him... Then He pulled me against him and started to touch me. At the end, He told me that I started all. Teasing him.

In some point, I told him. If you want to stop everything is ok. I will do all that you want. I haven't kiss you or touch you. I did hug you. But I can stop. I will follow your rules. Just make sure that you are not closing the door and locking it forever.

After that, He just hug me.

Before that day, we were speaking so fine by WhatsApp. He shared a lot of his feelings and after that day... He has been away from me around two days... This weekend, I will take the train. I'll go for a big and long walk...

I have been reading a lot, trying to keep me busy... not disturbing him... giving the space... but I cannot more with this.. I miss him... I am afraid of sharing my feelings, He doesn't want to do it... He is running away all the time...

I decided to learn to play piano, squash and a lot of things because of him. He hasn't try to make an effort for being next to me. At the end, everything seems to be my fault...

I don't want to quit. I just don't want to quit. but what can I do?

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  • Cc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Sorry to hear that you are so unhappy and that your efforts to try and change this aren't working. What do you think attracted you to each other in the first place? Is that still there? I wonder if having got close, your boyfriend has got a bit frightened and doesn't know what to do next.
    Have you thought about getting some professional help with talking about what's happening? You could do this as a couple but from what you have said about your mental health, you might want to think about getting some support for yourself first.

    Tue 18, Apr 2017 at 4:15pm