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I don't feel any love from him anymore.....

Posted by: Anonymous
Wed 31, May 2017 at 11:09am
Finding Time for Each Other, Getting on Better with my Partner, Communications in relationships

Hi all...
I am recently turning 21. Recently I just started dating again after my breakup with my previous relationship. I always had a crush on this guy during school days. Which turns out to be my best friend. We were really close back then. And I always use him as like a perfect guy bench mark for my previous relationship. Always feel that my partner is lacking of many areas and etc. which in the end.. the 3 year relationship slowly die down. And we broke up.

After a week of being alone. I decided to talk to my best friend. (Which is used to be my crush). And slowly, the conversation just goes on and on. And he always hint me that why am I in a relationship. Or like.. next time when we grow up, I will be in charge of his wardrobe etc.. is like giving me hopes that he actually likes me. So it went on and on.. and eventually I was too happy and confessed that he was once my crush.

That was the beginning of the relationship. He started to ask me out immediately the next day. And started showering me with love. Letting me think of him all day long. Texting him and smiling to my phone like crazy. The pace was so fast. He sent me home and make himself feel so gentlemen. I can see in his eyes that I am the one for him. And he is the one for me. We meet each other like 3 times a week. As soon as we can. We started holding hands and more intimacy.. it was so great that I couldn't wait for more. He is so different from my past relationship. It was just really good for the first 2 week when we are together.

It was only when one day we went out and started to criticise the way I wear that looks really kiddish. And make him feel that he as a old man (he is just 2 yrs older than me) is going out with a small young girl. I was kinda confuse really. Wearing skirt and tight fitting outfits is something that makes me feel like I am putting effort in my appearance. And he feel the another way round. He prefer me wearing Tshirt and shorts. Wow? Seriously? So I started attempting to play with my outfit. To see which suit him and which isn't. And apparently, I think feminine outfit just doesn't appeal to him. Alright. Okay I can try to compromise this point. Even though it doesn't sound right. I thought guys normally like dress and heels?

Then.. slowly our dates got lesser and lesser. He seems more busy or more tired than usual. And he keep mentioning that he don't have money to go out. So in the end.. I went to his house instead. But I am afraid the reason why he keeps me is because of lust.

Things get a little out of control when we are in a private room with no one. I still manage to keep my vaginity. But he is someone that is really experienced.. since he have many girlfriends before. And I believe he did have sex with them before. It was a sensitive topic to talk about. So, I never really ask him about his past relationship into such detail before.

But after one time when we did not see each other for 2 weeks. I decided not to keep all this thoughts and emotion to myself and start to raise this issue to him.

He was silence all along. And I started flooding him with all my feelings. And after all the talk. He said that he cannot feel any sync between us. Is like it lack of spark. And common topic to talk about. I was very different from other girls.

This really hit me. I have never think about that before. I was always confined by my own feelings. Wanting to get love from him. Wanting him to shower me with sweet stuff. Is it my fault? But it's indeed true that lack of common topics. Unlike last time during school days. We talk a lot about everything and school stuff.

Now.. we are all working. And there is just no common stuff. It feels like we are forcing love together.

We agreed to find more things in common and maybe we did not try out new things. It is always dinner and movies and making out. Nothing adventurous. Okayy let's work on that.

But I am constantly feeling that I am stepping on a eggshell when we are together. Reading from many articles, it sound like we are really incompatible. I am very confused. I really love him a lot. He really have many potential in many things. We were like the top students during school days. And have many topics together. It was supposed to be very compatible. But why?? Is it all along my imagination about all this?

Now.. ever since that day we talk about this. My emotion is always running around everywhere. Sometimes I miss him so badly that I message him stuff like... I miss ur hugs. I love ur back hugs so much.

And sometimes he doesn't message me back a few hours. And I get upset and feels like trying to take my time to text him back to make him put in more effort for me. But I am afraid that will make this relationship worst. I know he doesn't miss me everyday like how I miss me. That thought just upset me.

Sometimes I really regretted agreeing on this relationship. At least we will remain as good friends. BFF forever.. but I still don't regret being in this relationship. Help me.. I am feeling so troubled everyday. I really wish this relationship work out.

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  • Cc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Hi, sorry it's been a while since you posted your message and I see you have not had a reply. I'm wondering how things are for you now?
    It sounds like in spite of wanting this relationship so much, it isn't making you happy. What I'm picking up from what you have said is that you feel there is a -mis-match' in the strength of feeling between the two of you about each other. It certainly doesn't sound good that you feel you have to be so careful about what you say and do. Clearly you're already wondering if this is the right thing for you.
    You may want to think about getting yourself some help to talk this through more fully- with a counsellor perhaps?
    Whatever happens in this relationship, there are things you can learn from it, find out more about yourself and be better prepared for what might come along in the future.

    Wed 7, Jun 2017 at 2:58pm
  • User-anonymous Candies Flag

    Hi thankyou for the respond.. during that period of time I went to look for a friend for advices. I think speaking out my feelings and thoughts really make me feel better as a person. I think I just felt too lonely for that moments currently we are working out to have more activities together to bond more and find our sync. I find that whenever we are out for outing. Things still goes really well. I think probably the way I need love and the way he need love is different. Which is why I felt that way.

    Wed 7, Jun 2017 at 5:06pm