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Conflict between friends and loved ones

Posted by: Anonymous
Wed 5, Apr 2017 at 1:34pm
Affairs and Jealousy, Friends & Family


Here's the story. A while back my girlfriend and i got in a huge argument and i left to talk to before our mutual friend. He offered for me to stay the night there. because of this argument, i was declining her calls. When she tried to call our friend, he would not tell her where i was and that she needed to talk to me instead of him. He also stated that, to let me cool down before we talk.

since then she has hated him with a passion because from her point of view he never told her where i was to even tried to help her with me. I have remained friends with him, and talk to him ever so often. here's the kicker, the friend is supposedly gay. Because of the tension between my girlfriend and my friend, she restrains me from talking to him. now, because of who i am, i don't just stop talking to a friend just because of a misunderstanding between two people.

i love my girlfriend to death and would do anything for her, but she doesn't trust me because of things that i have done in my past relationship with my ex-wife. because of my actions i lost my family, and i swore to never do that again. but, because of my past, comes the issue of this story.

i don't tell my GF that still talking to my friend. I don't tell her because of the tension between them. now, i have a job opportunity with the company that my friend works at, but she refuses for me to work there because of him. I broke down and said ok. i won't work there. my GF get's mad and upset everytime i talk to him. i believe that im not doing anything wrong.

my question is this. Am i doing something wrong by talking to my friend and not telling my GF about it? I would appreciate some advice on this. because this is tearing us apart.

Thank you,

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  • Cc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    Hi, I don't think you're doing anything 'wrong' by not saying when you are speaking to your friend. But, it does make me concerned for your relationship with your girlfriend that you're forced to be secretive about this. I'm concerned that there may be more things that she wants to take over in your life (I'm thinking of her stopping you taking that job for instance).
    Will there come a point when you have to say 'stop! I'm my own person'. If you love her and want to stay with her, you may want to explain to her that there are limits to how much you are willing to be restricted.

    Sun 9, Apr 2017 at 1:00pm