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Attached to my ex and his kid, but falling in-love with another man

Posted by: Lost and Numb
Mon 13, Nov 2017 at 6:21pm
Housework, Sex/Intimacy and romance, Friends & Family, Getting on Better with my Partner, Making a Commitment, Bringing up Children Together, Life transitions, Communications in relationships, Living Apart Together

So, I started work as a live-in nanny in July 2016. My children and i were provided for in basic needs such as housing and living expenses in return I kept up the home and took care of his daughter and the animals. He and I became close and decided to try to be a family of our own. At which point I became a stay-at-home mother and home maker. In November we moved to a new home and a week after his father passed away unexpectedly and it caused a lot of unrest in my boyfriend. My boyfriend left me in December and I resumed the live-in nanny position and moved out of the bedroom. We were separated for six months and during those six months he tried to woo the mother of his child and often asked for consult and help in things like writing her letters and ways he could move past his past problems with her. I helped him any way I could. I was hopelessly in love with him then. He finally tried to get serious with her and she said no so he started trying to work on things with me and expect commitment from me but he would give me none.
In May 2017 I was going to go in a trip with my best friend out of state and I had given myself the ultimatum that if he did not ask me to be his girl friend by the time I got home from the trip that I would permanently leave him and move out and live on my own. My trip got cancelled and he asked me back out. Things were okay for a second but he began treating me poor again and it just got worse until at 2 points he grabbed me by my arms and screamed at me with absolutely no pushing for it in both instances I was calm (I come from previous Severely abusive relationships I know to remain calm when people get out of hand) and I still stayed until he provoked me until I was too mad to continue as his spouse. I left him and moved out of the room and once again resumed live-in nanny. I still love him dearly and would love for him to really change and be who I need him to be and he is trying to become that man. How ever I've begun seeing someone else and this man is good to me and good to my kids and calm with me and tells me that if I need a break to work on things with my ex he is fine with that, that he wont go anywhere and I feel like I'm falling in love with him.....
My ex keeps talking to me about his problems and that is fine but he is treating me like I was wrong for leaving but telling me he gets why I left and says he would have left him too and I just don't know what to do. I love my ex and want things to work. but I can not disregard what I'm feeling for the new man in my life... anyone have any insight that could help me become not emotionally unavailable and bring me where I might need to be????

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  • User-anonymous kamilla Flag

    If you plan on leaving them, you need to make sure this man is worth it. But also think of the bond you it worth breaking for someone else you don't know as well?? Think very carefully before you dumped the one you have or you could have major regrets.

    Wed 22, Nov 2017 at 11:00pm