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Am I over reacting?

Posted by: Anonymous
Wed 17, May 2017 at 8:58am
Affairs and Jealousy, Communications in relationships, A Psychologist's Perspective, Sex and Affairs

Okay so, I'm really jealous person and I have trust issues. (Reason for it is bc of something that happened in my childhood). For someone who is like this though I'm okay with my boyfriend to watch porn. Well, I told him more than once that I don't care for him to watch porn but not to have any of it on social media, like having the pornstars or whatever in his Snapchat or on Instagram and whatnot. Well, he told me he wouldn't but I went on his phone and got on Instagram and I saw that he looked up a pornstar person on there. Well I just blocked her without him knowing. Then earlier I was going to go to his pictures because I like seeing how far we came, and I saw a screen shot of a pornstars Snapchat that was sent to him by this person and it was of an account on Snapchat ghost picture so he could add them. Another thing is, yesterday morning I saw were this person had sent him a Snapchat well I asked him if he could open it in front of me so I could see who it was and he said I will in a minute, well he got up went to the bathroom and said he was using the bathroom, well when he comes out I say can I see that Snapchat and he said I already opened it and all she said was hey and I blocked her. I was highly pissed off at that time. But like I have a fear that he's hiding something from me.. but I want to respect his wishes and give him his privacy.. but I feel like he's doing something behind my back. What should I do...?

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  • Cc jaybee (moderator) Flag

    I'm sorry this situation is making you feel so unhappy. Reading your post has left me wondering what the most important issue is for you here? Is it the way your BF uses pornography or is it that he might be doing something behind your back? Or a mixture of the two?
    What can he do (or not do) that would make it possible for you to trust him? You're clearly not comfortable with spying on him and intruding into his privacy. How would it feel to stop doing this?
    You see, I think it may be reasonable for your BF to perhaps agree to change some of his behaviour but it sounds like you recognise that this might not be enough. You seem pretty clear about where your problem with trusting somewhere comes from. How do you feel about getting some help with trying to heal from that experience?

    Sun 28, May 2017 at 4:00pm