Yes it can definitely be possible to get the "spark" back, but it does take work and probably some help - it is very normal to feel like this at this stage, they don't call it "the seven year itch" for nothing! Can you talk to your partner honestly about feeling the "spark" has gone and try to get some fun and interest back into your lives - and maybe try some couple counselling together?

When I started reading my first thought was that you need to meet your boyfriend away from home next time.
When I read the next few paragraphs, I was confused

By the time I got to the end, I kind of heaved a sigh of relief, but I guess, you want reassurance that you did right by ending it all.

Without knowing the other party, all I can say is that it is odd that a parent would be doing that and its actually abusive to do so, that is not love.... unless of course he has the brain of a child.

With regard to family relations, it may arise from time to time that what we expect and what is expect and what we do and what is perceived are different, but this sort of thing does arise within ethnic minority families commonly.

What do you think. Are you both matched well enough, does he have attributes that supercede dealing with a dragon in law?

To pass judgement on what you have outlined, I should say....End of chapter

I can understand why you were feeling so uncomfortable with the situation. I can't help but think that it's better to finish things with him before you get married, than struggle with the problem all your married life. Being respectful of a partner's parents is very different from putting them on a pedestal and accepting they are always right. When a couple gets married, they should really be putting each other first - not their partner's parents. Sorry to be harsh, I'm sure they are a very loving family - but that love needs to be shown in a way that is acceptable. Stay strong and start going out to have some fun with your friends.

Could you ask him what is going on for him and have a calm talk about it? It may be that his feelings towards you have changed or he has met someone else, or it may be that something has happened between you to make him feel he doesn't want to show you affection. You won't know what is going on unless you ask him and give him the chance to be honest about his feelings and what you can both do to improve the relationship, if that is what he wants. Good luck, hope you are able to have an honest and helpful conversation.

That's tough. It seems a huge decision to leave without working at helping overcome the addiction. If it was adult porn....maybe you could find it in your heart to work with him and maybe a relationship counsellor to get through this as a couple. There are other posts on this on the forum...why not have a look at what other members of the community say. You could also post on the forum.

If he can't talk to them in front of you it's probably not innocent if there was nothing to hide he would be open about it don't you think?

It may be a transition thing...having to get used to speaking as your boyfriend rather than as a single person. Is there any way you can work trogether on it...maybe have a gathering with his friewnds and yours. If that is too much at once just get to know them as individuals...with his help?

If what you say is true then he is getting things badly wrong. If you love him and want the relationship to grow, you will need to help him change this way of dealing with difficulties...so being honest about how you feel when he takes it out on you by putting you down etc is important. Letting him see you are aware of how difficult he is finding things and offering him love and support is good. Accepting blame and negative remarks is not good for you, him nor your relationship. Maybe start by telling him you love him and that is why you feel so hurt when he blames you or puts you down. Be clear that you are not prepared to allow it to continue. You will be doing you both a favour. Why not post on the forum and see what others think?

your boyfriend is not doing anything to you, he does not think it is okay and its not acceptable.

the reason it is happening is because you are in it, and the reason you are in it is a choice you have made.

Some men are more afraid of losing their inheritance than losing their future wife

A lot of men are able to move on from relationships that do not exist anywhere tangible.

After 7 years, you should have given up on playing to the piper, you could be nothing more than sweet taboo to him and when the time comes to stand up to family position, he will drive past your house in a convertible dressed like a sultan serenaded by drummers before your very eyes.

I don't want to sound wicked, but if they want you or not, his action toward you should give you a level of respect and he should be able to encourage his family not to interfere with his ability and knowledge of what he should do to respect you and honour you.

Ultimatums are not nice, but i would ask you to gently let him know that you do care but cannot continue to do things the way he is dictating and let him know what you expect.

if he cannot include you in his families life that is not a problem, but if you cannot be a part of his life without suffering some detriment because he does not know how to include you in his life and keep his family then you need to admit to yourself that he has a problem and maybe you need to give him space so he can solve it and take some space for your self to detox yourself of the cloak and dagger existence you have come to accept which is slowly eating you up.

No, such a way of giving in to their prejudices is not okay. I am afraid to say that it seems as though his family will always come first for him and you will come a rather poor second, and they have such a hold on him that this situation is unlikely to change. In a way it is a lovely thing that they have such a strong sense of family values, but when this is over the top, it can become very controlling. Money can be a BIG carrot, but I don't want to speak unfairly here. I don't know the situation. Keep posting and I do wish you well.

You are probably just going through a rough patch. Many couples lose their 'spark' but it is possible to get it back with plenty of communication and effort. Check out the relationship insights on this website - they are really useful to help you understand where you are in the relationship. Think about the reasons why you have less affection - is it money worries, work stress, or simply less physical intimacy? Check out relevant articles to get some advice and tips.

How long has the affair been going on? If you have just found out that he is having a long term affair, then yes, I definitely think you have a duty to tell your friend. It will be devastating for her but the betrayal and lies are worse.

I think it is bad if you don't let your gf express how she feels about the situation. It appears as if your not interested in what she has to say, or interested in her

yes, bruising is the same all over the body???

are they your adult children? and is it your boyfriend?

Sometimes, but what works better is discussing the issues rather than just hoping they will go away

Get some help. Seek advise on the internet. Try www.womensaid.org.uk