That's a big question! If you are in a loving intimate relationship, you can ask your partner to help you by being open about what triggers the feelings of insecurity and between you make decisions to behave in ways that help you manage the feeling e.g ringing the insecure partner if you are going to be later than expected etc. Gradually as trust in the relationship grows the feelings of insecurity will lessen. However, if there is no partner, a counsellor can help you work through some of the issues and provide a secure base while you change. If you would like more responses why not post on the forum?

Has he been betrayed in the past? sounds like pstd ...reassure him and be an open book about everything, show him he's worth feeling better about having a trusting relationship.

Has he been betrayed in the past? sounds like pstd ...reassure him and be an open book about everything, show him he's worth feeling better about having a trusting relationship.

It's so hard to rebuild, especially when there's no apparent cause. Why do they do it? There's quite a lot of stuff on the site about building trust - I've found it helpful, I hope you do too. The video clip is good too - well worth a try.

It's so hard to rebuild, especially when there's no apparent cause. Why do they do it? There's quite a lot of stuff on the site about building trust - I've found it helpful, I hope you do too. The video clip is good too - well worth a try.

I wonder why you want to? It doesn't sound as though it's for her benefit - and what do you expect to get from it? Are you feeling inadequate? Or hoping to geve her more pleasure? Has she suggested that you're not big enough? If not, then why pursue it?

Why not post this on the forum so that you get more responses from the community. From my perspective I would say you need some time as a single person, not in relationship. Then you can get to know yourself and what you want your life to be like. It may be that neither of these two guys are right for you. Have the courage to go it alone for a bit. If either of these is really committed to you they will want to be back in touch when you are ready.

It depends what you mean by having trouble letting go of the past ....does it mean she is tempted to go back on drugs or that the memory of the miscarriage is getting her down? Why not post on the forum with more detail..so that you can get a more helpful response .

It sounds as though you're feeling hurt by his behaviour. I wonder if it's worth trying to sit down and talk to him about it - he may not realise how you're feeling about it.

I remember my partner having a friend who happened to be girl at work and initially I felt threatened, but I soon learnt that I had to trust my partner and I loved and supported my partner.
As I look back on it now I realise I was feeling a little insecure at that time becasue there was other stuff going on in my life and it schewed the way I was feeling about my partner. Once my other stuff settled down and my partner and I started talking more I realised that he was just being the supportive person i knew him to be. I also realised that I could have friends who were boys and they were just that. All relationships are built on trust, support, patience (and boy did my partner have patience with me and yes we are still together) and that most important ingredient love. So take care and maybe explain how you feel to your bf and see how you feel then but affirm your trust in him.

Let go, don't text him back. He might begin to realise what he wants then, if you keep playing his game then he'll keep playing too.

depends on what things you want

Look at what went wrong the first time and think of ways together to prevent those things from happening again. Openness, honesty and affection are usually the best ways to ensure a happy relationship.

Look at what went wrong the first time and think of ways together to prevent those things from happening again. Openness, honesty and affection are usually the best ways to ensure a happy relationship.

Give her time... girls need to hear nice things to feel good. Sounds stupid but tell her you love her and you never wont to fall out again... little things make a huge difference :)

Think of ways to earn his trust again. Start by being honest with both your feelings, and why you lied, and he might start to trust you again.

If she really saw herself with this person it's unlikely she would still be with you. Try not to get too worried - okay she thinks they're great, but she must think you're better to stick with you.