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What do you do when you have been totally betrayed
I have been seeing someone for 3 years now. To start with I didn't know he was married and when I found out he said they were seperating and showed me that his house was for sale on the internet. The day he was due to move he informed me that they weren't seperating, as she had tried to kill herself when she found out about me, and he couldn't leave her at that point and they had brought another house together.
He has so dominated my life, including cutting me off from all my friends and family that he was all I had left, so I let myself be persuaded to carry on seeing him with the promise that once he felt she was strong enough he would leave her. I know how stupid I was but I have been totally brainwashed by this guy.
This has been going on for 2 more years now and I know he has never been faithful to his wife but he assured me I was different and as we had been together so long I believed him.
I have now found out that I am not the only one and am totally devastated. When I confronted him with it he turned really nasty and wanted to know how I knew and made it out that I was at fault for checking up on him.
I know this is all my own fault but after so long and so many knock backs from him I feel that I am worthless and unlovable and I really don't know how to cope and put my life back together again.
As I now have no family or friends to turn to does anyone have any advice or be willing to talk and be there for me as at the moment I can't see any future for myself.
Comments
You say you dont have any family but I am sure that if you went to them and explained whats been happening they will understand. Tell them how controlling hes been and that it was him that orchestrated the divide between you.
Also you have to find the courage to end things with this man. He comes across as a nasty piece of work. You are so much better than him and you have to start thinking that way. Maybe you can try doing something for yourself to build your confidence up again. Trust me there are better guys out there and your stopping yourself from finding him while your with this bloke.
Be kind to yourself and let us know how you get on. Take care x
i have gone through and am currently going through something very very similar. i allowed my "partner" to cut me off from my family and friends, my friends all got tired of hearing me complain, seeing me upset but not helping myself, so did my family. its taken me a long time to get to where i am now in the relationship, that is, i stood up for myself and said "no more". Its extremely difficult at the moment and each day i feel torn between attempting a new life for myself, or slipping back into the old one. i would be happy to email you if you wanted to go in more detail as i really do feel for what you are going through. im reluctant to post personal information about myself on any forum for personal reasons, but if you want to ask the mods for my email address or leave me yours, im more than happy to listen and help where i can.
take care xx
Dear daisydoo, Much as I understand your wish to correspond with someome who seems to be going through a similar experience to you, your request to share contact details contravenes the terms and conditions of the site, in particular 4.3 and 4.8. 4.3 'you must not include any personal identifiable information..including e mail addresses' and 4.8 'The "Talk it out" forum is not a place to seek or receive counselling, crisis support or intervention. In the light of this I hope you can share enough of your experience by commenting on this site to be of help to jayne411 and others struggling to cope with similar situations
oops sorry, i wasnt aware of that x