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Making a Commitment

hey everyone
please excuse my english and i hope u all understand what i am trying tu say.

wen i was 16 [2 yearz bck) - free single , alwz wanted tu hve a bf who can treat me like a princess and love me tu bitz. however strongly believed in arranged marriage rather than love. { maybe i was jus after a bit of fun- gwd knowz }

This whole thing started when i joined college two years back. the first couple of days i didn't noticed him at all as i was too busy to live in my own little world.
After a weak or so, wen i noticed him for the first time , i thought he was the most handsome guy i have ever seen. however that didnt last long eaither as he started flirting with me in the middle of the class and startede to annoy me( please bare in mind i was some one who was way to reserved and miss touch me not kind of girl- who loved the attention but hated when boiez tried tu hit on her as i knew i didnt wnat to fall in love as i was scared of this whole love feeling.)
nevertheless things got better that day and i started liking him more than anything. it was soo strange ; i mean liking some one on our 1st every meeting. he asked me out the same day and in the end of the our 1st meeting i shared my first ever kiss with him. it was beautiful and i loved every second of that moment.
he wanted more that day as in kiss me more and more and i started pushing him away as it was too much for me. i mean my 1st evr kiss and in public cmon.. it was like me lifting mount everst on my skinny shoulders. absolutely killing
as the says went pass, we wanted more physical stuff and i didnt want that at all so i kept breaking up with him thinking he only wants oen thing from me and that was sex.
so it was like i want him more than anything jus nothing physical and i knew its his life and he can do whatever he wants but couldnt bare seeing him with other girls .... after few months i sorted myself and stopped pushing him away and for the first time i knew things couldnt never been better between us. and then i realised how much this guy means tu me and i am in love with him. i told him and that freaked him out big time. but in the end he was Okie i guess. we started talking tu each other more on the phone and it was jus beautiful . loved him soo much .. n couldnt belive that i was feeling that for him . it was jus wow... : )
n then my mate dropped the bombshell on me and told me that he has been flirting with her whist he was with me ... i was devasted and felt like my life was getting out of my own hands. they exchanged phtos etc .. i forgived him and continued the relationship as i knew i love him and my love is more than enuff tu convince him tu stay with me. we got tugether and after couple of weeks i found that he had been flirting with more of my matez and i jus thought nah he cant do that tu me and i belived him wen he told me that they are all lying even thou my matez had proved.
thing whole thing conituned for one year and more and more people coming up tu me telling me that what he has been up tuu and etc .. still i ignored them all and belived him. in the end i jus thougth i had enough and broke up with him but oculdnt live without nt tlking tu him.. it was abso killing expeince in a really bad way.
then we gt tugether and he apologied and i accepted.. n things got more intimate between us .. it was like a fire . he loved me talked tu me 24/7 and finally i relaised he loves and i felt his love for the first time ... things got more physical between us and oen thing lead to another and i end up losing my virginity to him.
he asked me marry him and i said yes and we started taking abt hving a family and everything .. i never felt soo happy in my life .. atlast i got him hez was mine no one elses jus mine .. he loves me .... YAY !!!!
and the whole thing striked again .. bad old **** was bckk... in my life again
i found out about him talking tu other girls like m sucha slut and i felt soo used and cheap.. it was like the end pioint for me... i jus knew this is it .. i cnt live with myself animore and i felt disgusted.. liek a old used rubbish peice of meat. but one thing was soo shocking that he was telling all these girlz that he loves me but talked about me in sucha bad way . i was soo confused .. he told thses girlz that he was fliring with my other mates whilst he was with me and how he wanted my best mate tu be his new gf . and now i jus dnt no what tu do.. wheter tu forgive him or accept him
i love this guy more than anything and jus wish he loves me tuu and all his
promises are real..
I REALLY DONT NO WHAT TO DO AND JUST HOPE SUM1 CAN ADVISE ME ON THIS . Please

Thank You for being so nice and reading this.