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The only one making the effort
To give you an insight I have been seeing my partner for 5 months, I have been in 2 other long term relationships but he hasnt been in any.
To begin with he was the one doing all the chasing he was making arrangements 3-4 times a week and texting everyday for a couple of hours. Now I know this is the honeymoon stage and cannot carry on in the long term but over the last few weeks I have noticed a huge change. He never texts and if I text him I get a reply and then thats it for the day. I see him twice a week but feel I have to make the arrangements and when I see him he is always late and cannot understand when Im annoyed/upset about it.
When Im with him he isnt as cuddly as he was at the start but everything is good and he tells me he loves me. It just seems like at the start he was excited to see me and things and now hes sort of bored.
What would you do in this situation, Im trying everything but i feel like im making all the effort... if i didnt im not sure i would see/ hear from him more than once a week.
Ive never been in this situation before, sorry if im rambling.. and thanks for reading my essay!
Comments
Personally for him contacting you I think you kind of only have two options with this the first one is that you can talk to him and communicate all your concerns about the change you have noticed and explain what a big shock and a difference it is to you and find out if there is a problem there and then he can maybe tell you if there is a problem or if your expectations are too high etc. but if it is still the same and you still feel insecure in the relationship then you only have one option... and that's to stop making the effort with him and see if the relationship continues in the way you fear it might (ie. you don't think he will contact you etc.) or not, it could just be that you have higher expectations of him than he is naturally giving and maybe if you leave it he will get in contact with you and you just have to adjust your expectations slightly, but if you are always jumping on the phone first because you are worried he wont contact you because he did so much in the beginning and thats changed now you are not giving him the chance to contact you naturally as he normally would.. you know now that the honeymoon period is over :). The cuddly thing is another matter, if he isn't being close on more than one level emotional and physical it could be he is withdrawing from the relationship even though he is saying he loves you, this could be for a number of reasons eg. depression, anxiety, stress, are just a few and those are just examples that are to do with him there could be other problems in the relationship that need addressing or I'm sorry to say he may well just not be that into you anymore and as its such a new relationship and you both seem quite new at this I would definitely communicate with him about this so that if this is the case you can both move on or sort the problems out.
I hope you find happiness.