Should I Get Professional Help?
Hello, i'm 22 and am currently in a four year relationship. I have numerous trust issues which i have had my whole life and have carried on through every relationship since i began dating. I try to keep these suppressed but they have gradually ruined every relationship i have ever had. I try to personify the laid back trustworthy girl because that's who i wish i was. But there always comes point where i can no longer keep it up and I literally explode like a time bomb. Its unpleasant and its degrading to myself to suddenly become this insane, jealous, controlling, emotional person. I have worked out recently that it isn't anything personal on my boyfriends behalf. He isn't doing a thing wrong i am pushing and pushing him. Almost as if i am trying to force him into doing something that will hurt me so i can say "AH HA i was right all along, these crazy feelings are valid" but they aren't. Not in this relationship anyway. I feel as though to keep my relationship and to truly be who i want to be i should see a clinical psychologist. However this is incredibly confronting and i am terrified it wont work and i will be like this forever. I hold on to these jealous feelings because i feel if i let my guard down that's when i will get cheated on or betrayed or hurt in some way. I kind of just want to know has anyone here seeked professional help before? Has it worked and was it terrifying?