Should I break up with him?
I've been going out with my first serious boyfriend (I'm a late starter at 25). He was the first guy I've given my all to. We' been going out about 7 months. He has depression, and can be self absorbed and aloof from time to time. I myself am an insecure person, but I try to reason with myself internally and not let it affect my relationship too much.
My boyfriend did not allow me to visit his house. It bothered me a lot. He came up here to my house and I went to his family's house but not his own. I've met his family and friends so I didn't think he could have been hiding anything too bad. He said he was ashamed of his place and needed time to sort the mess out. He has a female housemate who is apparently aware he has a girlfriend. When I asked him about her, he said they met through work, weren't particularly close but she needed a place to stay and he needed a tenant.
Last night, the topic of me coming to his house arose. He set a date for me to visit and I was delighted that it was finally happening. I told him not to worry and I wouldn't be judging him for a messy house. His housemate came into the conversation and he told me that she had a small share in the mortgage. I was shocked because he hadn't told me this before. I said; "Well you must have been close to pay for a house together" and he agreed as if this had been an obvious open fact all along. I asked how they had met, he said they met over a decade ago through the internet and that she had had a hard time and he helped her out as a friend. I was shocked because he had told me they met through work and it was simply a work colleague he was politely friendly with.
I told him that he had lied to me and he insisted that I had been mistaken, or he had gotten mixed up/misheard me etc. He would not admit to the lie. I gave him the chance to admit to it but he wouldn't. I said if he had of just been honest about this it wouldn't have been as big of an issue as it is now but now I don't know what else he could be lying about. According to him, they never had a sexual relationship, just a friendship.
He left my place and sent a couple of txts saying he was bewildered as to why some confusion would ruin our relationship, not acknowledging the lies he told. I ignored them, seeing no point in replying. I am heartbroken. I am alone in a new country and trying to cope with this situation. Friends and family I have phoned, tell me it's my decision what to do, but I don't trust my own judgement. My mind says no this won't work out but my heart says try to sort things out with him. I'm not sure I could ever trust someone capable of lying like that. Please give me some solid advise on the situation. I need to feel I did the right thing.