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problems with guy please help?
ok so i have been talking to a guy who i met online for about 8 months now but he is quite a lot older than me i am 17 and he is 31 and has been single for 6 years , and i dont think he is a player because well he is pretty much online 6-7 nites a week but i have been used by an older guy befor just for sex. one thing that does worry me is that although we talk lots and seem to be sort of dating he is still on dating sites, he says that he aint looking for anyone else but i dont understand why he wuld still be on there? we have only met up twice because of my parents obviously if they knew i dont think they would be happy... but recently it has been getting hard because we barely see each other jus talk a lot on instant message and phone sometimes which is better but because of the cost we cant talk on there much. i have thought about telling my parents and seeing if they are ok with it or tryin to persuade them but i think it is very unlikely? but he gets annoyed when i keep asking lots of questions which i do because im so worryed he will find someone else before i can be with him or hurt me is this possibly because i have been hurt before? im really confused about what to do because i cant seem to be happy talking to him just online, when i am with him it has been really good and we get on so well but the lack of time spent together seems to realy effect me. please can someone give me some advice thx
bea
Comments
find someone on your age befor u hurted, that what I can advace from my own expriance.
hi, i dont want to hurt your feelings, and its not what you want to hear, but this guy is just using you as his plaything, he knows he is to old, and is most definately married or in a relationship, hence the lack of meeting up and spending time together, he is enjoying your attention, and will no doubt carry on as long as he can playing with your head, but ask yourself some qestions..... why is he not making more of an effort with regard to you ? have you been to his house etc? is he single??? how many other woman is he in contact with online???? or by text? have a chat with your parents they may not be happy but they love you and dont want you to get hurt, and they need to know your safe if you are meeting up with this guy? just be careful, make sure you use protection if you are having sex, always let someone know if you are going to meet anyone you hardly know, be happy, be safe, be careful, best wishes.....Ian
I agree with the above posts. I am 33 and I work with young people and I have seen this sort of thing before. Your needs and wants as a 17 year old girl are not compatible with those of such an older man who has been through many relationships and has a very different viewpoint to you. You ought to be having more lighthearted relationships with guys who are thinking similarly to you, ie guys closer to your age and stage of emotional development. You should be having fun learning about yourself, what you want and need and what you are looking for in a relationship. You need to consider why this older guy is interested in someone so much younger - he must have some issues or enjoy having power over you, which is never a good dynamic. Take some time out and spend time with your friends to reconnect with who you are and where you are going - I can see only heartache and danger in this relationship, you can do so much better. Good luck and take care, and DO NOT feel pressured into sex with him, I guarantee he is not worth it! All the best.