please help, do i still have a chance?
My boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 years now. When I first met him, he was head over heels for this girl, his true love. From what he told me, she really loved him too. But she always rejected him. They went on dates but never officially went out and she had 3 other guys chasing her at the same time too. Long story short, he broke up with me three weeks after we first became official because he found out that she was planning to ask him out the day after he asked me out, so he wanted to have another chance with her. I encouraged him and gave him space, because I felt like he would never get over her if he never had a chance to be with her. On new years, I decided to talk to him again to see how he is doing and I found out that he never got the chance because she avoided talking to him too.
We got back together for the second time after he tried his hardest to prove to me that he wanted to be with me more, and everything was fine. Our relationship became rocky whenever she gets mentioned and talked about for too long because I know that he never got over her and he had always been trying to convince himself that he was over her.
He tells himself and me that he loves me more than he did before, but tonight he realized that he is still in madly in love with her even though they rarely talk now. And we had a long, honest heart to heart talk tonight. He has a bad memory but he said he can remember every text, every email without ever having to open them. He keeps pictures of her (and all his ex and mine too, regardless of what happens to our relationship). He says that he has never felt as happy or smiled as much as he had when he was with her. He tells me he loves me, and loves me more every day, but he is also unsure if he will ever love me and be happy with me more than he with her.
He says that he will never dump me again for her because I am the best girlfriend that he ever had, and that he was stupid to dump me the first time and won't make that mistake again. He finally confessed to me that he went out with me for the second time because he felt guilty about dumping me like that the first time and also because he's scared of being alone.
I don't mind that he is going out with me because he's scared about being alone because I am scared of that too so I understand his fears, but that doesn't mean I'm settling, even if he might be. It pains me and makes me happy that I got this second chance because he felt guilty.
But lately, whenever I am unhappy, he seems less motivated than before to even try to cheer me up. He shows a sorry face and tells me that he doesn't know how to make me happy. He seemed to have accepted that I'm always upset and nothing he does will make me happy since he's the cause of my unhappiness.
She is showing interest in another guy who had been my boyfriend's competition. I don't think they are officially dating, but my boyfriend believes that they are together.
Please help give me advice. He may never love me as much as he loves her but do you think I can still have a future with him since he did say that he loves me more every day? Being second best hurts, but I love him as much as he loves her. Our breakup showed me that I can live without him, but my days without him were dull and devoid of any spark of happiness. Should I tough it out and hope that one day he'll come to love me enough that memories of her won't bring pain or that he will love me more than her? Or am I stupid to keep hoping for something that will most likely not happen.
I know this post was really long so thank you for taking the time to read it and help me out.