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Partners spoilt kids
I really do need advice, yet at me age l should no better. I am in a relatively new relationship of 2 years, living together for 14months. I lost my son, father and husband all within the past 10years, so trying to find happiness is so difficult, especially when l struggle with the 'low days' . My partner has been divorced 6 years with two grown up children, a boy of 20 who currently lives with us and a daughter of 24 who moved out and bought a house with her boyfriend. The problem is, his family.
The kids are so spoilt by him and it is coming between us. They do not like me because their dad does not drop everything each time they throw their dummies out ! The daughter bought a new house, everything in it is expensive as she won't have it any other way. She also bought a new car, as her previous one was 2years old ! My partner took a loan out in his name for £11,000 to pay for her previous car and for for a while she was paying monthly payments to him, until.....we moved in together. The payments have stopped and my partner is paying them, quite happy to do so, because he wants her to have what she wants. We only have his salary incoming and l pay a mortgage from the monies that l sold my house with. If we need anything ie: a holiday or meals out, l have to pay because he can't afford it. This is causing constant rows, yet he will not ask her to pay her loan because he doesn't want to fall out with her, she buys new clothes each week, goes out for meals all the time and buys expensive make up. Her salary is twice as much as what we have coming in our house. His son has been living with us since march and rarely pays anything, because, there again, he is also spoilt has what he wants yet is income is more than his fathers . I moved away from family and friends to be with him, bought a new house suitable for his kids, now it's all gone wrong and l hate the house because l pay a mortgage on somewhere l hate living ! . I know he loves me and can see a future together, but l can't , not with this problem continually niggling at me. He recently lost his father, so l have been helping his mother with everything, l don't mind helping anyone, but l find his whole family very selfish. Not sure if there is any point wasting anymore of my life being unhappy. There are so many more issues, but this is the main one.
Comments
Oh wow I can so empathise and sympathise. My husband and I have been together 13 years. His two daughters are now aged 29 and 22 and still expect to be financially supported by their father, and he doesn't say no. We have had to take out 2 loans totalling £10,000 to bail out his eldest daughter to stop her getting CCJ's with the promise from her to pay us back. Guess what, the payments stopped after a few months, she didn't even ask or explain and in fact lied to us about why, and I found out the lie. His other daughter was with a loser for just a few months and thought having a baby would be a good idea, so she did. Neither of them had a job and nothing to offer a child. Needless to say the tax payer and her father pay for EVERYTHING. My husband bought and pays for a car - tax, insurance, MOT and any work that needs to be done on it. He also puts fuel in it everytime he visits which is at least once a week. He also gives her cash and pays for shopping. They are just taking the p**s out of us. My two daughters have been amazing and totally support themselves and never ask for anything. They were always brilliant about my marriage ending to their dad and supported me completely. My husbands girls were the opposite and were totally vile to us both - J just went along with it and kept showering them with money and gifts hoping to get their love back - now they expect it all the time. Incidentally they both live in their own rented homes with a partner. I'm so sorry for you but find it a small comfort that I am not the only one and I can share this. My husband and I row constantly about it and it makes me have a lack of respect for him as he won't say no. He will never reassure me that it will end one day because he knows it won't. I am at my wits end today after another massive row because he is over there spending a small fortune on "her" car. I really do feel like leaving. I do still love him though.