partner gone bi-sexual after emmotional affair
In 2009 my partner had recently found out I had a emmotional affair outside of our relationship, , whilst at the time myself was suffering badly with depression this of which this was partly caused through work through years of bullying at work. I realised there was something lacking in our relationship and This is something I have now dealth with through medical and cognative behaviour theraphy am better than I have ever been.
Which leads me onwards, this was in the summer of 2009, in spring of 2010 she asked me to move out, and declared herself bi-sexual which she had always been strongly against, which I did for several months. in this time she stated dating a then friend made through work which I had invited home as a friend, my partner then quite quickly developed emotional feelings for her which actually lead to the reason she asked me to leave. As this way she consiidered it wasn’t cheating on me as she wasn’t seeing me. Due to the lack of trust between us and developments between my partner and this woman, they saw a lot of each other, and effectively started dating. I one evning was in my home babysitting my son and had a phone call from her when she made a pass at me, I told my ex-partner now that I wasn’t happy about it, not realising that effectively they had been spending some time together this, then came out that I had arranged them to get together and that I had orcastrated the whole thing, that I had met her not from work at all, and generally turned in to a mess and loss of a so-called friend, and any trust that was left between us to a point as I had no way of defending myself or proving any different.
In the autumn of 2010 I moved back into the house after she told me she probably loved me more than what she should and having been living there with my son and her ever since.
We spend time together, function as a family, and do everything that normal couples do. But she sleeps in a separte room, she will have no physical contact with me with no intimacy sexually or otherwise.
I had hoped with passage of time, that we could heal things between us but I am not sure this is the cas. Over the past few weeks we have talked a bit and she in adement that she cares about me, that she is happy to move house with me and everything else couples do. But she has moved on from me and has no romantic feelings towards me.
She did say a couple weeks ago that she would see a counciller, but she can change her mind like the wind it seems.. I however do know that she maybe seeking bi-sexual experiences from other women and has said she wants to find peace in herself and wouldn’t see anybody else whilst this is going on between us. She has openly said that she considers herself single and not in a relationship.Yet she expects my support to her stressfull job and family committments and support in selling our house and moving in to rent so she can take a different job so she can leave the stressful one she has. I still feel connected and willing to support her in which ever way is necessay if we could form a realtionship again and move forward and heal the devide between us. she has said that this isnit possible and doesn’t feel that way towards me, romantically.
This week she has decided that she no longer want to move togther and that she doesn’t feel anything any more for me, she is half at the point she is considering see a coucellor with me but cannot see the point too tell her how she feels
I know that she has been on bi-sexual dating website and lesbian websites looking at them but hasn’t joined any of them. (didn’t clean the history when our son was looking for his website).
She seems preocuppied with trying to sleep with other women and, and I believe this has altered her attention this rather than trying to sort things out between us, We have a 9 year old son and I would like to keep our familt together we have been togther 16 years and only in the past two had any real issues.
I have contacted a councellor to see myself - has anybody else been thrugh something like this???