No sex because of depression!!
Hi.. So iv been with my boyfriend early a year now and recently moved in with him.. We have a nearly perfect relationship, we just click! When we first got together we wanted to take things real slow so didnt want to have sex straight away, after a few months of being together my boyfriend started getting anxiety attacks and then started suffering depression again (he had a spell of depression when he was younger but says he has been okay for about 6 years). We went to the doctors straight away and she put him back on antidepressants and he has been stable and seems alot better since then which is great! However because of the tablets he has no sexdrive atall.. Which i understand is ou of his control and i am okay with that.. It jusy gets me down sometimes because i think that he doesnt want to sleep with me ext. its just alot to deal with, i lbe him to bits just am a little unsure what to do as i dont know if i could have a relationship with out sex on a perminant basis.
Advice would be greatly appreciated :)
Comments
Brilliant thankyou for your help.. The docs seem incredibly quick to just give antidepressants and then leave it at that! I will discuss it with the bf this evening and hopefully we can get things sorted! :)
P.S.
When I say that you can do the MBCT program together, I mean at the same time, i.e., you would need to work through it independently of each other, and in your own time.
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Ask your bf to go back to his GP and request a treatment plan that includes Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).
Research shows that people who have been treated with anti-depressants *and* CBT do much better than those that are treated with meds alone - relapse and further episodes are reduced.
He will need to stress the effects of the meds on his sex life, and may need to press for CBT if his GP seems reluctant - there will probably be a waiting list. If his GP refuses, then he needs to see another GP.
A new wave of treatment based on cognitive therapy and the use of deep relaxation techniques is now available: Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT).
MBCT has been approved by NICE, but finding a local practitioner working on the NHS might be an issue. However, MBCT can be used as a self-help program by people who are not severely disabled by depression – it does require a certain amount of commitment over an eight-week period to learn and practice the techniques.
MBCT can be used alongside CBT and AD’s, and will offer the best possible chance of an early recovery along with reducing the chances of further episodes of depression.
You can buy an MBCT manual on Amazon, which explains the approach and includes an 8 week course that can be done at home – a CD is included to help with the exercises. Its not just another self-help book, the authors have used the very latest technology and knowledge of how the human brain works when validating the methods used.
MBCT has been developed in the UK at Oxford University and in conjunction with Jon Kabat-Zinn who is Professor of Medicine Emeritus and founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1329827880&sr=1-6
I hope things improve for you both soon - you could do the MBCT program together, as it's a very useful way of managing the kind of stresses that come with modern living.
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